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Anonymous
Anonymous asks:
Q:

If my 10 year old daughter asks if she can have her boyfriend come over, what should I do?

In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Friendships and peer relationships, Teen sexuality and dating
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Jul 5, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Thank you for contacting Education.com!

Ten year-old girls should understand that it is OK to have "boy friends"  but that is not OK to have "boyfriends."  As a parent you need to be aware of the nature of their relationship and you need to be the judge if they should spend time together away from school.  At their age, opposite sex relationships should not be encouraged.  There is nothing wrong with boys and girls being friends.  But when they do have interaction it should always be in the company of adults who provide constant supervision.  

If you have more questions and would like to speak with a counselor about this issue or another parenting concern, please call or e-mail our toll free Hotline. We are available 24 hours every day for parents and children.  

Take care and best wishes to you and your daughter!

Cynthia, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
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Additional Answers (7)

ronald
ronald writes:
Ten years old strike me as TOO young for dating/boyfriend/girfriend relationships. Boys and girls playing together is fine.

Ron
> 60 days ago

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dgraab
dgraab , Parent writes:
Hi,

As a mother a preteen myself, I agree that 10 years old is too young for dating. However, the term "boyfriend" likely does not have the same meaning to your daughter now as it will when she's a teenager or adult. Allowing her to host her friends (male and female) at your home while an attentive adult is present seems appropriate. If one of those friends includes a male that she calls "boyfriend", it seems better that they interact in your home where you can supervise their interactions, guide/ensure healthy behavior, and make observations or gather information that will help guide any future decisions you need to make with regards to your daughter's relationship with this boy (or others).

At 10 years old, your daughter may be learning about puberty and receiving sex education at school. If she isn't, I suggest that you mention her current interest in boys to her pediatrician and/or a family counselor, and that you work with these health professionals to educate your daughter about her body and the risks of sexual activity.

Below are some informational resources you may find helpful, including similar Q&A related to your question. Thanks for asking!

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cbsi_leg
cbsi_leg , Caregiver, Parent writes:
Definitely the answer is "NO". She is still to young to have a boyfriend. I think she just need your attention. Maybe if you could make time with your daughter... talk to her
> 60 days ago

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MimiR
MimiR writes:
A 10-y-o is not a "teen."  She is a child.

No boyfriends.  They aren't old enough and sophisticated enough for sexual relationships at 10--or even quite a bit older than that.  Teens need to figured out who they are first and not risk getting their identities redefined for them by stronger personalities, especially not with a sexual element at such a young age.
> 60 days ago

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LynneArmella
LynneArmella writes:
What does "come over" mean?  listen to music, watch videos, play Wi, snuggle, on couch or in bed - sex, etc. etc.?  Also where does she want to entertain her boyfriend? - living room, family room, her bedroom?  Doors open or closed?  Parents home or not?  There should be a whole lot of boundaries set in the beginning. This is all if you are crazy enough to DO it.  I think 10 is a bit young.
> 60 days ago

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genermcmillan
genermcmillan writes:
You can strictly say that NO , because she is only a 10 years old girl , she don't know anything about the life.Try to understand her with good advice.
> 60 days ago

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younggirl
younggirl writes:
I remember when i was ten ( 14 now ) i asked my mom if i could have my boyfriend come over.. she sat me down and asked me "What will you be doing and where do you plan to do it?" i calmly responded ( even though i was annoyed) i said " well we were planning on watching a movie in my bedroom and then going for a walk" she said " well if i say yes you have to keep your door open and be back from the walk in 45 minutes"
so my reason of saying all that is that if i were you i would ask you daughter those questions and make sure she means her answers>.
> 60 days ago

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