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victoria20
victoria20 asks:
Q:

How do I get my 10 year daughter to go to sleep in her own room?

I have always let my daughter sleep with me on the couch and then take her to bed after. She manages to for the most part stay in her bed for the whole night after that. I cannot however manage to get her to go to sleep on her own and in her own bed. She is very dependent on me and lacks confidence in herself and I am afraid that by letting her getting away with this that I am not helping her build her confidence. On the other hand, I want to help her but not sure if I should be getting angry and punishing her or not? Are there some helpful hints to help her get to sleep on her own?
In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Sleep and rest
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Wayne Yankus
Jan 13, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

Sit her down and explain it is time for her to sleep in her own room--no exceptions.  Like quitting smoking, pick a date and stick to it.  You are the parent and she is the child so you must win and not give in.  Explain that your love for her includes teaching skills and sleeping alone is one of them.  Go with her to get a new bedspread or some decoration and it helps to have a "prop" such as a stuffed animal to share in her bed.

Best wishes.

Wayne Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics

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Additional Answers (3)

Dr.Monika
Dr.Monika , Child Professional writes:
10-year-olds usually have a good understanding of independence.  You should be able to reason with your daughter about why she should be sleeping in her own bed.  Also, let her know that you expect her to do so.  You can use a reward chart, where you can put a sticker or a mark for every night that she cooperates and sleeps in her own bed.  If she collects so many in a row, you can reward her with something small.  If she is afraid to be alone in the dark, install a night light in her room and leave the door cracked open when she goes to bed.

If you daughter exhibits over-dependence on you and struggles with separation anxiety, talk with a pediatric counselor.

Best regards.
> 60 days ago

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PositivelyMe
PositivelyMe , Teacher, Parent writes:
My advice is contrary to popular opinion, but tried and true. Don't try to get your daughter to sleep in her own room. If she is dependent on you and lacks confidence perhaps you lack confidence also, or she is not spending enough time with you to establish her own confidence. It is usually 'caught' not taught. If it takes your daughter until she is 16 to sleep in her own room, what is wrong with that? Get her an inflatable mattress and let her sleep on the floor in your room. When she is ready she will make the move.
> 60 days ago

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Bumber2
Bumber2 writes:
Give her some stuffed animal and tell her to please stay in her room and that you need some sleep.
> 60 days ago

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