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wthastings
wthastings asks:
Q:

My 10 year old has a negative attitude after moving to a new state. Is this normal and how can I get him to talk about it?

My husband is in the military and we move around about every 3 years. We recently moved to the Midwest from the East Coast where we lived for 3 years, which I know allowed my son to gather friends. He was awesome through the move and I even talked to him about it and he has been allowed open communication with his friends from his old school.

Now that we have been here 4 months, I have had 2 parent teacher conferences because of attitude and grades. When his teacher has asked him to do something he whines and complains about doing it. And his grades have been affected, and even went through a spell of not wanting to do homework.

We (my husband, his teacher, and I) have all agreed and talked with him that it is up to him and put out there summer school and holding him back. Even at the house he has taken an attitude towards some things and is ignoring me when asked to do something. And if he asks to do something and is told no or not right now, he has started throwing himself and stomping through the house. I have explained to him that doing such will not get him what he is asking for.

I am at a lost. Because my husband and I both have talked to him about it all. And I do think that this move was hard on him, but we just can't get him to open up. Does any one have any suggestions. Should I maybe make an appointment for him to see the school counselor?
In Topics: Learning issues and special needs, Motivation and achievement at school, Parenting / Our Family
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Louiseasl
Mar 7, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

Hello and thank you for writing to JustAsk!

Moving is exciting but can be difficult for the whole family!  Parents tend to adjust differently (and at different rates) than their children. Your son is at a really tricky age- TWEEN! That means his hormones are starting to rage, peer relationships are very important and he still has some "little boy" in him.  

The school counselor should help with finding ways to help with acclimating your son to groups and activities in the school. Also, search for out of school avenues to get him involved. In the meantime, you may find www.Kidlutions.com a very helpful website to ease this transitional time.

Good luck!

Louise Sattler, NCSP
SigningFamilies.com

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DeannaClegg
DeannaClegg writes:
I recently moved from a small town to Milwaukee, Wisconsin with my 10 year old, 3 year old and 17 year old. We have been here for a year and 4 months. Moving from a small town to a city left my 10 year old skeptical and a little fearful. Also with an ugly divorce his father expressed that there was more crime here. He was afraid to walk to school which was only a few blocks from home and often expressed that people were acting like they were "going to get him." I understand this is not the same behavior that you're talking about but I just continued to reassure him that there was crime everywhere by even letting him know of things I found out happening back home. I allowed open conversation to him and told him never be afraid to ask or let me know anything. Maybe you can let him know you're concerned and want to help him by understanding what has him so upset. Or put yourself in his shoes by giving him an example where you had to start new, like your new job for instance. Hope this is helpful, if you haven't already tried these. Good luck!
> 60 days ago

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