same here  you are not alone  first  get rid of ds   lock in glove box or put in attic or cieling tile  do not let him have it for any reason  he will drive you nutty but stick with it give him a date to get it back with all the rules and things he needs to change  get ready for the fight of your life  it gets worse before better but it does get better start with a simple one  homework after school  no tv no outside nothing till homework done  sit with him  listen to him  try to remain calm and talk him throughit  take one line at a time and lead him to his answers  this can be diffuclt but if you keep your resolve and keep plowing into it he will get better  have him help you with chores once he is involved leave him on his own  but check back often sooner or later he will pick up be sure to stay in his range  don't use big words don't compare him to anyone make him the subject not anything or anyone else  with each day you should see some minor improvement with each improvement give a reward but not the ds  allow lone=ger stort time or a special snack but not tv or his ds  set hourly goals  at the end of hour change subject  if he cries allow it if he throws a fit just guard him  if he refused don't let him leave soon things will change  it will get easier for you and for him   if you have other children explain to them that you have to work with this one for x amount of time  try to get them to help ie relief go out side take some fresh air ang go back to it  time patience and fortitude is all that is neede  and lots of patience  good luck