veggiemom
asks:
Q:
10 year old son can't make friends. Can anyone help us?
My son is a nice kid. He has never been able to connect easily. Finally, in 3rd grade he made the best friend ever. Two years later he moved away. We see him every other weekend now because of the distance. However, my son is isolated and unhappy once again with no one to connect with at school. He is showing signs of stress, quick to anger, general sadness. Especially at this age he needs to feel accepted by his peers and connect on more than a superficial level. I am very worried about him and where this can lead. We have tried very hard to help him by talking about ways he can approach kids or join groups. Nothing is working. I hate to see him suffer like this and I am scared. Can anyone help us?
In Topics:
My child's growth and development, Parenting / Our Family, Friendships and peer relationships
> 60 days ago
What the Expert Says:
Additional Answers (7)
Hi, I'm very sorry to hear about your son's situation. Please do talk to his pediatrician or a family counselor about the emotional symptoms you're noticing with him, as well as about your own fears.
Here is a resource on Education.com that may also offer some insights for you:
Help Your Child Make Friends
http://www.education.com/topic/help-child-make-friends/
I hope this helps. I will also share your question with our JustAsk Expert community of pediatricians, social workers, psychologists, teachers and parenting specialists, to see if any of them have specific suggestions for you.
Here is a resource on Education.com that may also offer some insights for you:
Help Your Child Make Friends
http://www.education.com/topic/help-child-make-friends/
I hope this helps. I will also share your question with our JustAsk Expert community of pediatricians, social workers, psychologists, teachers and parenting specialists, to see if any of them have specific suggestions for you.
Resources:
> 60 days ago
I would talk to his dr. about everything you are noticing with him that is negative. Maybe you should try throwing a party...? I did that for one of my sisters when she was having trouble making new friends. Pick somewhere that goes with his interests and invite a couple kids that he chooses. You will be amazed at how much fun kids have when they are the ones throwing the party.
> 60 days ago
how about enrolling him in sports. My son is in basketball and has made many friends.
> 60 days ago
maybe your child dose not communicate with his other friends and maybe the kids at his school are bulling him witch you need to talk to a conslour about it
> 60 days ago
As a kid I had the same problem, but I resolved when I discovered that I was very smart and could show it in many ways helping other kids, making them feel like they can do it too.
Teach your kid how to use what he knows (drawing, speaking a differente language, singing, playing basketball, using the computer, building power point presentations, etc) and show others that they can do it too. Kids will start looking at him as a leader, eventually they will be looking for him, your kid will see this as a natural thing, this will resove the issue.
My main problem was that I had a lot of potential and did not know how to use it, be around kids was bored for me, my parents were always busy working to raise me with good things, but never took the chance to find out what was I able to do. I had to find out myself.
Teach your kid how to use what he knows (drawing, speaking a differente language, singing, playing basketball, using the computer, building power point presentations, etc) and show others that they can do it too. Kids will start looking at him as a leader, eventually they will be looking for him, your kid will see this as a natural thing, this will resove the issue.
My main problem was that I had a lot of potential and did not know how to use it, be around kids was bored for me, my parents were always busy working to raise me with good things, but never took the chance to find out what was I able to do. I had to find out myself.
> 60 days ago
When I was reading your post it was reading what I am feeling about my 11 year old son. He hasn't connected with anyone in his school since kindergarten. He is very bright, kind and friendly but will not make friends. Noone calls him from school and he has a few neighborhood friends but not best buddies. It is hurtful as a parent to see this. I tell him to try and approach kids at school who he feels comfortable with but he says there is noone. I am also at a loss as what to do. Have you received any good advice? My son is very shy, is yours? Will he grow out of this. He is going to middle school next year and that scares me as kids could be very mean.
> 60 days ago
Hi. I have an 8 yo son in the same boat. He is a cute, funny, smart kid but never feels he fits in anywhere. He plays baseball in the summer and belongs to boyscouts, but still has yet to make a friend. We, unfortunately, have no kids in the neighborhood that are his age--a few boys who are older and into sports--which my son really isn't. There are a few girls that we see at the bus stop--but they are apparently good friends and don't seem to want to play with my son. My son tells me that the boys at school--only 5 in his class--"don't want anything to do with me". It really kills me to hear this. He says things like "I'm lonely" and "I wish I had a friend". It is the hardest thing to bear. If anybody has an answer or found anything that has worked for them, I'm all ears! Thanks.
> 60 days ago
