My 10 year old son is suddenly coming to our bed

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DTCamacho asks:

My son, now 10 years old, has never had a problem going to sleep or staying in his own bed and we did not have a "family bed" when he was younger. However, for the last few months, he's been coming to our bedroom every night and crawling in between both of us. There is just not enough room for all three of us and no one is getting a good night's sleep. My husband and I take turns taking him back to his room, comforting him and staying until he falls back to sleep but minutes later he's back and now complaining of nightmares. Last night he came to our room 4 times. We were up with him from 12:40am to 4:00am. Both my husband and I were so exhausted we finally let him stay. Not only are we walking zombies, I'm worried that my son is not getting enough rest as well. What could be causing this and what can we do???

In Topics: Sleep and rest

> 60 days ago

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Wayne Yankus

Mar 3, 2010

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What the Expert Says:

Start by reading Dr. Ferbers book on sleep. Second talk to him in the daytime and ask why he is doing it. State the rules for your home and your bed. If he keeps coming in, lock the door or take him back to his bed and tell him he may not come back. If he does, start with taking privileges away. it is a tough love approach but he is ten not two. Some children feel safer and that may be the subject of Why?

Good luck. You may want to consult a person who specializes in behavior.

Wayne Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics

Resources:

www.aap.org

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Additional Answers (3)

dgraab , Parent writes:

Hi, In addition to the suggestions from Dr. Yankus, here are some more resources you might also review...

Sleep and Rest info center: http://www.education.com/topic/children-sleep-and-rest/

It includes articles about how to help children after nightmares: http://www.education.com/topic/child-sleep-issues/

I also found more information about Dr. Ferber and his sleep methodology here: http://www.childrenshospital.org/views/june06/sleep.html

Please also talk to your son's pediatrician, who can examine your son in person and help address any emotional or physical issues that may be contributing to the sleep situation you described.

Good luck -- I hope you are soon successful in helping your son sleep alone so you and your spouse can also have a restful night.

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monicasweet... writes:

if i may i think your son is doin this to see how far and what he can get away with stuff or he knows hes getting old and want you to baby him

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Dr.Monika , Child Professional writes:

Nightmares are the cause of many sleep problems in children. Many children have wild imaginations; therefore, I always recommend that children watch no TV before bedtime. Often, children re-live in their dreams what they see on the tube, get scared, and wake up. Do not allow your son to watch television 2-3 hours before bedtime, and hopefully in a matter of a couple of days, you'll notice improvement in his sleeping habits. Should his nighttime awakenings continue or intensify, talk with your son's health care provider.

Resources:

http://www.pluggediparents.com

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