beachgirl asks:

10 year old spoons with father - please help me understand.

My boyfriends daughter is ten and likes to spoon with her father she lays her legs all over him ,reaches up to be kissed constantly. She is very clingy and hangs all over him holding his hand no matter where we go. She sits next to him in truck and rest head on him. She sits beside him on sofa while holding his hand the whole time. The problem is she doesn't do with with her mother. They have been divorced for eight years,and he had one other girlfriend for four years. I think this is why it didn't work from what I gather. I have two girls from previous marriage ages seven and nineteen and neither one of my girls did this with their father. They kiss and hug him good by or hello, and occasionally sit on his lap. I have never experienced this before from any child I know so I am not sure how to handle this. I talked to him and he said see just misses him alot. He sees her two days on one week and six days on other week. please help me understand this or should I run away. thanks
In Topics: My child's growth and development, Fatherhood, Blended families
> 60 days ago



Wayne Yankus
Aug 7, 2009
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What the Expert Says:

This is inappropriate for a ten year old female. Your instincts are correct.  This young girl needs counseling about her insecurities and behavior.  However, it does not seem that dad is doing much to correct this posture, and that remains an issue.  Why is he not stepping up to the plate to correct this?  I would speak to him first about how as a mother of daughters, you find this out of the ordinary and bothersome to you.  Ask the daughter to sit next to you as you are the adult and will sit next to her father. A loving blended family can happen with all of you but all parties need to come clean about the behavior.

Wayne Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics

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