Education.com
Try
Brainzy
Try
Plus
LaDuena
LaDuena asks:
Q:

My 10 year old daughter?

My 10year old daughter admitted to me and my boyfriend that she cut herself, she said that it was the first time she did that to her self, and that she will never do it again. I need some advise!
In Topics: Self esteem and identity, Cutting
> 60 days ago

|

Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Sep 29, 2010
Subscribe to Expert

What the Expert Says:

Cutting is a dangerous activity. Some young people, especially girls will do it for two reasons, one is to "try it" with a friend. The other is to do it because of emotional pain they are experiencing in their lives.

At 10 years of age hopefully your daughter is not experiencing that level of emotional pain.

This is however a wonderful prompt to you as a parent to set aside time each day to talk with your daughter about the things in her life that may be stressful. It sometimes works well to share about the things in your day that caused you frustration, anger or sadness.
Then talk with her how about how you dealt with those feelings. When listening to her make sure to validate how those issues could cause her to feel sad or mad or hurt or frustrated. Then talk about how those emotions are normal but it is how we express them that can either be helpful or harmful to ourselves and to others.

There are many unhealthy coping skills and cutting is one of them. Teach your daughter healthy coping skills. Prepare her to respond safely to the stressors in her life. When she feels angry, teach her to stop and count to 10 or to take 10 deep breaths before she speaks or reacts.
At home have her practice coping skills like swinging, reading, listening to music, going for a walk, or just taking a break when she needs some alone or quiet time.

Stay involved with her life. Talk daily in privacy. Monitor her alone time and be vigilant of her activities and friends. Thanks again for reaching out for advice.

Pat, Crisis Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000

Did you find this answer useful?
3
yes
0
no

Additional Answers (4)

LaDuena
LaDuena writes:
Thank you very much for taking the time to answer my question. I have being doing that since I found out, My boyfriend ask her to write 10 beautiful things about her, and we ask her to said those things in front of the mirror, we have being doing it for the last two days. Im aware that its going to take allot, and Im very scared, I don't feel comfortable    leaving her alone now.But when I picked her up from school today she seem happy. She has science camp next week and not sure if I should let her go. Will be there for 4 days, what do you think its a good idea to let her go?
> 60 days ago

Did you find this answer useful?
0
yes
0
no
Boys Town National Hotline
Attending a Science Camp may be a wonderful activity for your daughter. Please feel comfortable in voicing your concern for her ability to keep her promise while she is out of your care. Let her know that with the recent issue, you are a bit uncomfortable with having her gone.

Then, as her parent, think of how you can feel more comfortable that this will be monitored.
Can you communicate with staff that will be in charge of the children and ask that they check on her "discretely" while she is there?

Can you set up a "safety plan" with her that includes what she should do if she feels frustrated or tempted to do something to harm herself?
Such as telling an adult who is in charge, or requesting to call you.

You cannot remove all of the situations in her life that could be potentially dangerous, but you can teach her how to deal with those by having a plan to keep herself safe. In fact, you can even practice what she should do by role-playing potential scenarios before she is faced with them. Her response to the practices should build your comfort levels.

Good luck with this.
Pat, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
> 60 days ago

Did you find this answer useful?
0
yes
0
no
Dr.Monika
Dr.Monika , Child Professional writes:
Self-mutilation, such as cutting, is a cry for help at any age.  It may indicate emotional problems, such as depression.  Your daughter should see her health care provider for an evaluation as soon as possible.

Suggested readings:

Can children get depressed?

http://www.pluggedinparents.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=450&Itemid=0

Best regards.
> 60 days ago

Did you find this answer useful?
0
yes
0
no
Txmadmom71
Txmadmom71 , Parent writes:
Oh Boy, 10 years old?
First off Seek Medical advice.... However, I would make an Appointment with a Therapist or Psychiatric Professional ASAP!  I Do NOT have Personal experience with this But, a Friend of mine had a 12 year old who did this and she talked to her and grounded her and well it went from cutting to other things. I kept telling her it was a cry for help or there was a REASON for her to HURT herself.  Please, Please get her some help... There is a REASON she is doing it... It could be anything from Stress, to Bullying, to Self Image issues... Whatever the REASON, It needs to be addressed!
BEST WISHES and GOOD LUCK!
Jennifer
> 60 days ago

Did you find this answer useful?
0
yes
0
no
Answer this question
Anonymous
Welcome!
Please sign in.
Not a Member? Join now!