Maggie1 asks:

How can I help my 10yr old with his problem behavior?

He has ADHD and he is in special Ed. But H.W. at home is overwhelming.
In Topics: ADHD & attention issues, Discipline and behavior challenges, Communicating with my child (The tough talks)
> 60 days ago



Nov 3, 2009
Subscribe to Expert

What the Expert Says:

Having a child with ADHD can sometimes be overwhelming, even more so when it comes to accomplishing daily tasks such as homework or chores that aren’t as interesting or engaging as the thousand other things they can think of.  Remember above all else, your child has already had a very hard working day – focusing on learning all day is hard work for him!

Have you requested some suggestions from his teacher(s) at school?  It’s likely that his teacher(s) have implemented various strategies within the classroom to ensure effective use of time.  Believe it or not, if you can implement the same or similar strategies at home, the continuity and connection will help your son transfer the skills he’s learned there to the home environment.  His teacher(s) want to see him succeed just as much as you do.  They also want to see homework get done because it’s imperative to his learning.  If you can schedule a time to meet with the teacher in his classroom, you can see these strategies up close.  Even better, if you have the opportunity to go and observe him in the classroom with the system and strategies they have in place, you’ll get a concrete idea of what you can put into practice at home.  

Here are some other ideas:

- Take a look at his homework and write a brief checklist breaking it down into smaller chunks so that it doesn’t seem as overwhelming to him.  
- Allow him to take short breaks between each “chunk” or perhaps switch to a different subject.  He’ll find the change of focus easier for him to handle.  
- Set goals for the time you spend together.  For example, decide that he’ll finish his 10 math problems before he goes for a break or does a different task.
- Try allowing him to stand while doing his homework or tie a large elastic (you can get these from physiotherapy offices) around the front legs of his chair so that he can move his feet while working.
- Allow him to have a stress ball in the hand not doing the writing.  This can help keep him focused on the task at hand because the hand is now occupied.
- If you are sitting with him, try rubbing his back as he does his homework.  It’s been my experience that ADHD children find this contact soothing and it can calm them down while working so that they can focus as necessary.
- Structure – make sure that you have a definite schedule in place to help him know how to plan.  For example, perhaps you schedule homework to be worked on ½ hour before dinner and then ½ hour after.  This gives him time to come home and have a break from school, but then tackle some of it before dinner and then some of it after dinner.  Whatever schedule works best for you, post it somewhere you can all see it and really make an effort to stick to that schedule no matter what.  Perhaps also schedule other tasks, fun or not, in that schedule – playtime, TV time, Wii, bike riding, etc.  Sit down once/month and review the schedule based on what else is going on in terms of extracurricular activities and seasons.  Be sure to sit down and do the schedule with your son so that he feels like he’s got some input and his opinion matters.
- Ensure that the work being sent home is at your son’s level.  If it’s too hard, this means that you’re having to “teach” him and that’s just too difficult for both of you, not to mention that most kids don’t necessarily appreciate when it’s mom or dad teaching.
- Ask the teacher to write in the agenda/day timer an estimation of approximately how long each task should take.  If you have a timer, you can make it a challenge by seeing if your son can get it done (well) in the time allotted.  Perhaps a sticker, prize or high-five when he completes it will help as well.
- Use some sort of progress/sticker chart (visual) and reward him regularly with special privileges, stickers, etc.
- Make sure you have a specific place where he does his homework every night.
- See if you can find some neighborhood homework support.  I know of some families who have formed a homework club.  Three parents take turns on different nights at the designated house and help the children gathered there from the three households with their homework.  It means a break for parents every third night, plus children often perform/behave better when it’s not mom or dad working with them.
- Medication – if your child is on medication to help him concentrate during the day, but not using medication at night, it may be difficult for him to focus and do what needs to be done when it comes to homework time.  Perhaps speak with your doctor about how to handle this challenge.  It may be that medication needs to be changed or altered to help your son cope with homework.
- Inquire if there is a local support group for parents of ADHD.  They may have various suggestions in place which can help greatly.
- If possible, look into hiring a tutor to work with your son on a regularly scheduled basis.  The tutor support will help not only in terms of reviewing concepts your child didn’t previously grasp (if he’s struggling with grades) and it will allow you to be the parent instead of the teacher, thus encouraging a more positive relationship with your son.  A professional will have strategies that you don’t.  They’ll be able to offer suggestions for you to use when the tutor’s not around and your son will become accustomed to a particular structure when the tutor is there that can be transferred to the times you’re with him.

Hopefully you’re able to use some of these ideas to support an environment around homework that causes less stress for all of you.

Did you find this answer useful?

Additional Answers (1)

LDSolutions , Child Professional writes:
Homework does not have to be a constant battle or an exhaustive undertaking every day. These few strategies can lighten the completion time and hopefully reduce the stress at home and school.

1.  Schedule an established time to do homework daily

Most children need set routines and schedules in order to feel success. Help your child find a time for homework that works out in both your daily schedules.  Some children do best right after school, whereas others need an outside fresh air break first.  Because you know your child better than anyone, find that perfect time and make it part of the daily routine.

2.  Take 5-minute breaks after every 20 minutes

Find a structured break activity that your child can do after every 20 minutes of work.  This could be a yoga stretch on the floor, deep breathing activities, etc.  If you keep the break structured, the child will understand this as part of the routine and not a time to wander off and get distracted and lose focus.  Short, frequent breaks help children recharge.

3.  Let your child stop when they can’t continue on

If your child is too tired or frustrated to finish the homework, let him or her stop!
Experts in the field of education usually recommend 10 minutes of homework per subject per day.  If your child’s homework sessions are taking longer than this, schedule a meeting with your child’s teacher to discuss the problems that your child is facing.  It could be that the amount of homework is overwhelming or that it is too difficult for your child.  If your child has problems focusing, writes and reads very slowly, or needs extra time understanding concepts, then homework will consistently take longer to get through.  Make a plan with the teacher so that your child will feel success with homework and everyone’s time will be well spent.

4.  Request an extra set of textbooks to use at home

Students with organizational issues often leave their books at school.  This way you always have a copy at home. Having the homework material every day at home is crucial.   Once a student falls behind in their coursework, it is extremely difficult to get caught up.  Since so many schools do not have extra copies, you will probably need to purchase extra copies on your own.

5.  Find the right location for your child to do daily homework

Make sure it has good lighting and a clear workspace with no clutter around.  A child with learning differences and/or ADHD gets easily distracted at their workstations.  Keep the homework area free of anything except a good supply of paper, sharpened pencils and a set of erasers, pens, and a computer.

6.  Help your child organize papers for after school homework and prepare for the next school day

When your child has completed his/her homework, always praise them for a job well done.  Watch your child put completed homework in the proper folders and put the papers that need to stay home in an accordion file that stays at the child’s workstation at home.  All work that comes home should go in this labeled accordion file for future tests and quizzes.  All work should be saved until the semester is over.

 If a parent conveys the message that a child is capable and worthwhile, the child will begin to believe this.  Being supportive, having a structured learning environment and consistent routines will encourage success and motivation at home.
> 60 days ago

Did you find this answer useful?
Answer this question
Please sign in.
Not a Member? Join now!