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rhondaduvall
rhondaduvall asks:
Q:

My 11 yr old son will do anything to not spend a minute alone. How can I help him?

My son is 11 and in a 5th grade gifted class.He has always been very smart and had an easy time in school. My husband and I agree that recently it has become more obvious his determination to not be alone.. EVER. To think back, he has always been that way, but at age 3 we expect that and its something we didnt think to be serious. In recent months, realizing it hasnt improved we started to watch more closely finding that it is affecting him daily.He is unable to focus on a task because he would rather rush through.He is old enough to know what is expected of him and he would rather do the job incorrectly or take as little time as possible and I believe it is to avoid being alone.If he is alone for a minute he will either find an excuse to come out or make ridiculous noises.During reading time we ask him to go in his room for quiet reading and he will whisper desperately to his 6 yr old brother to come in.I am becoming increasingly worried for fear there may be a bigger, underlying problem.We have tried numerous hobbies and no interest unless someone will do it WITH him.Wondering if HE even notices?And What is he avoiding?I wish I knew how I could help him. I have a feeling it would open a whole new door for him and he would be able to focus on different things and most of all he would hopefully learn to cherish that alone, quiet time like we all do sometimes.How can I help him, Im losing my mind do to his lack of focus and commitment in anything he does.What is he afraid 0f?
In Topics: Self esteem and identity
> 60 days ago

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Expert

AnnieFox
Oct 24, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

First I suggest that you calm yourself down. Your "losing your mind" is not going to help your son nor will it help you and your husband figure out what's going on. My suggestion is that you take your son to a learning specialist and have him tested. You can get a referral from his school. His lack of focus, distractibility etc. seem to indicate that something amiss. Get him checked out. I'm sure that whatever it is, it can be helped.  

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