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MELINDABARRERA
MELINDABARR... asks:
Q:

What can I do with a 11 yr old stepdaughter who always argues/fights with my 4 yr old daughter?

In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Answers (1)

Angela_outnumbered
Angela_outn... writes:
I guess you should try to figure out why is it that they are having disputes. Can it be that one is jealous on the other?

What i'd do is try to hear both sides of the story, but also make them hear it, and also encourage them to try to solve their issues by themselves. Bust above all, you need to keep calm through all the process.

For example, when one fight arises, i'd sit down with both of them and ask for each of them in turn to explain me what the issue was. The other girl would have to also listen but would not be allowed to interfere. Once one girl is finished, you do the same with the other. This way you get the story, but they also get to her the point of view of the other. You can also ask them questions like "how did you feel when this happened" or "how do you think your sister felt when you did that"..

Without knowing more details, i can only say that most of the time if the kids feel loved, feel that they receive enough/ equal attention from the parents they eventually behave (more or less)..as kids will always be kids and fighting is part of the learning and childhood.

What works well on my kids (a bit smaller than yours) is counting to 30 to teach them to be patient to the other.
 This is hat we do: http://www.outnumbered.be/parenting/counting-to-teach-patience/

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