Scarlet asks:

How can my 12 year old son make friends?

He is very bright, friendly and sometimes shy.  He hasn't had a best friend ever that he can call and just talk to.  Since kindergarten he hasn't connected with anyone in his school.  He plays sports, clarinet and is very involved in Scouts. He is involved in these activities but always keeps himself at a distance and won't make the extra effort to make a friend.  I have told him over and over that it is up to him to approach other kids that he may feel comfortable with.  He is entering a big Middle School in the fall and I am hoping that he will make friends there but Middle School can be rough, esp. for someone like him who won't approach anyone.  Please help if you can.
In Topics: Friendships and peer relationships
> 60 days ago



Apr 3, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

The best way for him to make friends is to be involved in a club or organization that brings peers with common interests together. Sports offer many opportunities for building relationships and learning how to work and play with others. If he is not athletic, he can volunteer as a trainer or helper. I would also suggest a community theater where he can work backstage, paint sets, make props, and eventually have a part in a production. If he is more intellectual, a chess club would be great! Check in your area for opportunities in the community and speak with the school counselor about school organizations that would help him to grow socially.

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