Hi Scarlet, It's VeggieMom. Thank you for your response to my question. My son sounds very much like yours. He too will be entering Middle School next school term and I share the very same concerns. He has been sheltered in Elementary; Middle School will be very lonely for him should he be unable to connect with another child. I also worry about bullies singling him out since he has no friends to support him. I've considered sending him to private school in our area that goes up through Middle School.  It would be a considerable financial strain, but I feel desperate. I've even considered home schooling. The older our sons become the more they need peer connection or they will begin to question what is wrong with themselves which could lead to depression.  Teenagers are suceptible to skewed self criticism; this scares me. Please continue to reach out to me with any suggestions you may have. I am glad to have found another parent who is struggling with the very same issue. Hopefully, they will outgrow this and develop friendships more easily over time.

he will make firends when he start talking & when he not shy no more.

I have the same problem with my 12 year old daughter.  She is in dance and drama and  horseback riding, but she doesn't have any friends from any of those activities either, so I'm not sure that is really the answer.  Frankly, I'm at a loss myself.

be his friend , try to make him hang around other boys. may try to put him in a club that involves boys only.

My son is exactly the same. School work comes easy to him. However he has articulation issues with the /s/ sound which causes kids to say "what". This bugs him. We have had him in team sports since age 5 with the same group of boys.  While most now have bonded, he's included and invited to sleepovers and activities more because he's on the team, not because they seek him out. He's extremely sensitive and can't stand hearing have boys cut each other down in fun. He's now a 6th gr in Middle School and it's been rough. Complete meltdown, not wanting to go to school, but in the morning being a good kid, he finds the strength to go and then breaks down when he gets home. Taekwondo, red belt but even that hasn't built up self esteem or friends. He asks why he doesn't have a friend and it breaks my heart. So clubs, activities, sports is not the answer.  I'm now seeking out a counselor. He's really into the computer and non violent games, but kids in middle school like Halo and some current War of Glory game. I'm glad he's not just following the crowd but he clearly hasn't found a way to find common interests. If anyone has helpful ideas, I'd love to hear them. Kids like ours need a place to meet and hang out. All I want is for him to be happy.

My son is exactly the same. School work comes easy to him. However he has articulation issues with the /s/ sound which causes kids to say "what". This bugs him. We have had him in team sports since age 5 with the same group of boys.  While most now have bonded, he's included and invited to sleepovers and activities more because he's on the team, not because they seek him out. He's extremely sensitive and can't stand hearing have boys cut each other down in fun. He's now a 6th gr in Middle School and it's been rough. Complete meltdown, not wanting to go to school, but in the morning being a good kid, he finds the strength to go and then breaks down when he gets home. Taekwondo, red belt but even that hasn't built up self esteem or friends. He asks why he doesn't have a friend and it breaks my heart. So clubs, activities, sports is not the answer.  I'm now seeking out a counselor. He's really into the computer and non violent games, but kids in middle school like Halo and some current War of Glory game. I'm glad he's not just following the crowd but he clearly hasn't found a way to find common interests. If anyone has helpful ideas, I'd love to hear them. Kids like ours need a place to meet and hang out. All I want is for him to be happy.

Hi everyone!  I found this page because I have been going through the same thing!  Although, my son is NOT 12, he is FIVE (almost 6).  He is in Kindergarten at a private school and he is also shy. There are only 12 students in the class (including him) and they're mostly boys. I know he interacts with kids, I have been to his class and seen his interaction.  He often tells us at home that he hates school, all his classmates hate him, and no one wants to be his friend.  I have mentioned this to his teacher and everything seemed to be going well. It's been about 2-3 weeks and he's telling us again that no one likes his because all the kids don't want to play the same thing he wants to play on the playground (he wants to play Iron Man, and they don't).

Right away this hurts my heart and I want to take him away from the situation but the whole reason I chose private school for him is for this exact idea.  I figured that the class sizes were smaller, the teacher wouldn't forget about him and it wouldn't be as hard making friends.  He does not enjoy sports.  He is also very sensitive and does not like the agression of sports (even soccer, everyone fighting over the soccer ball.. aggressively trying to get it from each other).

In reading some other sites, I have considered spending time with him one day in class helping him to make friends with his classmates.  I have also thought about making contact with some of his classmates moms to have a "playdate" or some kind of get-to-gether with some boys in his class so he can develop relationships with these kids.  I think this would be a great idea for all of you.  I thought that since no one else suggested it, and since I had the idea I would share.  I hope this helps!  Good luck everyone!!

Here's a website I found with a little helpful insight.

Im a kid age 12 and im having the same problem as your son :(

Hi, everybody-

I can relate to most of these posts. My son is now 14, special needs, and has never had a friend, been invited to a birthday party, playdate, hangout, etc. He's such a sweet and generous kid, but has been shunned by this community. We adopted him and his sis from the Foster care system when they were merely weeks old, and knew that they came with some issues due to the biological parents background. We did not ever think that this would be something that we'd have to deal with! Some of the kids at his school are covert in their unkindness, others just pretend he's not there. At the end of the school season last year, I told him to try and get some phone numbers from kids that he thinks are friendly to him. He said there was a boy "Joe" that was nice to him. When he came home with Joe's phone number, I almost did a cartwheel across the living room floor. After a few days, he called Joe. When Joe answered the phone, he told my son to call him back in few minutes. When my son did, the number was blocked. He told me, "maybe he's just busy this summer, Dad..."

Not sure how to proceed from here, but we will continue to love and support him. I will gladly be there for him for the rest of my days, but it's when I'm not there that worries me most. Thanks for letting me vent...