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OTAKU
OTAKU asks:
Q:

14 with AS, ADHD, and Bipolar. Compulsive Lying.

I'm 14 and i have Asperger's, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and i am a habitual liar. I lie about the littlest things, good or bad. Does anyone know how i can stop lying once and for all? I've tried everything.
In Topics: Special needs, Autism & Aspergers Syndrome, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Oct 1, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

It's great that you are reaching out and are willing to take advice to stop lying! It shows that you have a good conscious and are not comfortable with continuing to lie. If you have a counselor or therapist, make sure you also talk to them about this since they know you and understand you on a more personal level.

Some lies are what can be classified as "polite lies." This type of lie is meant to protect another person from feeling bad. For example, if you are given a gift from a friend and your don't really like the item, most of us would say: "thank you, this is great!" rather than: "I really did not want this!" Of course with family members and people we know very well, we tend to be more honest!  :-)

If you are not telling the truth to get out of a responsibility or a commitment, it is a different level of lying and one which you should watch out for. Lying is a bad habit and like other bad habits such as smoking or nail biting, you have to make the decision to just stop.  Learn to think before you speak.  Ask yourself is the statement or comment: 1) truthful, 2) helpful, and 3) kind.  By putting those three words in your mind everyday, it might help guide you to stop and think before you speak and say something you may regret!

If you would like to speak with a counselor, please call our toll-free hotline, or e-mail us anytime.  Also, check our our website for teens: www.yourlifeyourvoice.org

Take care and best wishes to you!
Cynthia, Crisis Counselor
1-800-488-3000
hotline@boystown.org
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Additional Answers (1)

pigtoria
pigtoria writes:
Hi Otaku….

Children make “false statements” all the time either during play or in their ordinary life.  They pick up a banana and say it’s a telephone.  They hold an empty cup and said that they are drinking delicious chocolate milkshake.  They point to their ordinary clothes and said that they are an astronaut or a princess from the medieval times.

Are these children “lying”?  What’s the difference between these “false statements” and lying?  Lying is intentional but more importantly there is some kind of incentive.  Hence, lies are uttered as a result of “not hurting someone’s feelings” (white lie) and to avoid punishments or get some kind of rewards.  

To stop lying, you may consider looking into the incentive for you to make “false statements” (lies).  Try to minimize these incentives and you will make begin uttering true statement.  Good luck!

Hope this helps!

Vicki
> 60 days ago

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