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QuietCutie
QuietCutie asks:
Q:

My 14 y.o. daughter has been sick and out of school for a long time. She does not want to finish her schooling at her school but at home. What do I do?

she has been absent for two months, hospitalized, and then in a pshyciatric unit now she is refusing to return to school and only wants homeschooling...what do i do?
In Topics: Back to school, Homeschooling, Teen issues
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Dr.Susan
Mar 31, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

This is an important question and deserves serious consideration. Your daughter is probably refusing to return to school for one or more of these reasons:

--she's overwhelmed of the work she's missed
--she's embarrassed about what other kids will say to her or about her
--she's afraid she'll have a relapse
--she's worried/insecure about being away from home

All of these are valid ways for her to be feeling, but they aren't necessarily a reason to home school her. Homeschooling is great if it's what you believe in philosophically or if a child truly can't go to school for physical or psychological reasons. However, your daughter needs to learn how to cope again with her life and you need to help her. Here are some steps to begin the process:

1. speak to your school to see what support they will offer (reduced course load, counseling, shortened day to begin). Be insistent and don't take 'No' for an answer. When it comes to getting services for your child, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. She'll likely qualify for a 504, so you'll be able to get support for her through that.
2. Consider offering her outside school counseling/therapy if you aren't already. Don't stop any treatment she is receiving
3. Help her connect with one or two old friends so she'll know people going back.
4. Remind her that you will support her throughout her re-entry into school and that you are really proud of her.

Dr. Susan Bartell
JustAsk Expert
www.drsusanbartell.com
Twitter @drsusanbartell
NEW book! "The Top 50 Questions Kids Ask"
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Additional Answers (5)

Loddie1
Loddie1 , Parent writes:
Homeschooling a good option. I currently homeschool and it is quite flexible! Personally, I would not have it any other way. There ius not as much stress involved. I have homeschooled my daughter for three years now. So any questions about it, and I would be more than happy to answer. First of all, I see you mentioned she was in a mental health facility for awhile. Can you tell us more about this part?  Homeschooling always starts with your state's laws. You want to first examine these and get all legal issues straight before withdrawing her from her current school. Once you have accomplished this, you can breathe! Now allow her to take some time to get used to being at home. I would not assign too much at first. Also, I would find a solid curriculum. This always helps when needing to know what direction to take academically. Below is a website that will have numerous resources for you to look at regarding homeschooling. Good Luck!
> 60 days ago

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SchoolmarmDE
SchoolmarmDE writes:
Well, how would that work for you? Remember, homeschooling is part of a family commitment, it has to work for everyone.

That being said, I would take seriously her idea about this, at least for the rest of the year. Coming into a class midyear is difficult at the best of times, but can be particularly stressful for kids in the midst of working out peer structure, as young teens usually are. The advantages of getting her the last, what, 40 days? of curriculum could be pretty minimal, balanced against her resistance. If you invest another month in evaluating what your options and resources are for this, it'll hardly be make or break for her, educationally or socially.

Modern homeschooling ranges from structured alternative school environments, to "school at home", to more student led paths. It often takes a bit of time to find out which options fit an individual family situation best. I'd also, in your case, find out if her counselors have an opinion on the subject they'd be willing to discuss with you.

Having looked into these issues, you'll be in better place to decide for yourself, without buying into outdated stereotypes of what homeschooling consists of. It doesn't fit everyone, but it meets the needs of quite a range of families.

I don't know where you are, but I'm linking a website that, while specific to a state, gives a good idea of the types of resources and options available.

Good luck!

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QuietCutie
QuietCutie writes:
that yuo so much for all of your advice my daughter did have a relapse and is now headed back into treatment im just conserned for her and what we wil do after treatment because i cant homeschool her and she wont go to her current school....any more suggestions?
> 60 days ago

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Dr.Susan
Dr.Susan , Child Professional writes:
Hi again, it sounds like she's quite fragile and still working on her emotional struggles. I wonder if the best option for a while might be something in between hospitalization and school--day treatment, it's called, where a child gets therapy and school at the same time in a very supportive environment. I strongly suggest that you speak to the hospital staff about a transitional therapeutic environment for her so that she has a sense of success instead of failure. Your school district may have a similar type of program as well. You have my very best wishes for her success. I can see she has a caring mom!

Dr. Susan Bartell
JustAsk Expert
www.drsusanbartell.com
Twitter @drsusanbartell
NEW book! "The Top 50 Questions Kids Ask"
> 60 days ago

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QuietCutie
QuietCutie writes:
she will auctally be attending day-treatment but i am still worried about what i can do when she gets out
> 60 days ago

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