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Francoise
Francoise asks:
Q:

I have a 14 year old daughter.  We have tried everything to get her to be effective and organized. How can we get her to take pride in her work?

In Topics: Motivation and achievement at school, Helping my child with school work and home work
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Dr.Susan
Jan 13, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

Hi there,
Often when teens are disorganized it is because they have an undiagnosed learning disability or ADHD. In girls, this can be particularly difficult to diagnose. It is important to be supportive, rather than critical of your daughter, especially if she is frustrated. The fact that she isn't 'taking pride in her work', doesn't mean she doesn't care--perhaps it is just very difficult for her. I suggest that you speak with a school psychologist and possibly have her evaluated to determine what you and school can do to give her the specific support she might need.
Good Wishes and Great Parenting,
Dr Susan Bartell
JustAsk Expert
www.drsusanbartell.com
Twitter @drsusanbartell
NEW book “The Top 50 Questions Kids Ask”

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Additional Answers (3)

salfam
salfam writes:
We use the Love and Logic parenting techniques; we allow our children to make mistakes and receive the natural consequences of his/her behavior. If my son has forgotten homework, he consequence at school is no recess -- I would not bring it to him. Also reward with positive behaviors: "People with clean bedrooms can go to the mall." We're big fans since there are techniques from early childhood through teenage years. Good luck!
> 60 days ago

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hummingbird26
hummingbird26 writes:
Its like the saying a womans house looks like she feels help her feel better about herself and it will show in everything she does
> 60 days ago

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BRRMAMA
BRRMAMA writes:
My now 17 yr old son was/is the same way. When in middle school, he was diagnosed with being mildly ADD. We tried some medication but they made him feel sick and anxious so we stopped. Working with his teachers helped quite a bit when it came to his school work. One of the strategies we used was his assignment notebook. Each day he had to write down each assignment/homework for every class, even if he had finished it already in class. At the end of the day his homeroom teacher checked his notebook and his assignments, then initialed it. After he was done at night with his homework, I did the same. This not only kept him on track with homework, he was working a bit harder to make it look good. He also chose to color coordinate notebooks and folders for each class. To this day, and he is a senior in high school now, he still does the color coordinating. He also starts each semester with fresh folders and notebooks! This makes him feel more organized and in control. As a teenager, they tend to be disorganized which of course drives us parents crazy! My son has grown up quite a bit in the past few years and does take more pride in his work. Since we were just talking about organization just a few days ago, he even stated that he knows where everything is. He puts things in the same spot everyday (books, music, etc.) so he knows where it is. As he said, "even though my room is kind of messy, I know where to find things". I found that to be quite interesting, and it is also true.

Hang in there, keep positive with your daughter and work with her on making good choices about her work, even talk to her about how she would like to organize things. It does get better and once she gets started, she won't stop doing it as she continues in school. Good Luck!
> 60 days ago

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