Anonymous asks:

14 year old has never been able to make friends.  Can someone help?

My 14 year old has never had any real friends.  He has very superficial contact with the other kids.  He doesn't connect well.  He is always happy and doesn't seem to care about it, but I worry a lot because friends are so important in life...How can someone just go through life without any?  Plus, he doesn't even know what he's missing because he's never experienced it.  When I ask him, he says he has a lot of friends at school and in his basketball team, but I know that this "friends" get together a lot and do lots of things and never invite him...They don't consider him a friend.  I think the reason for this is because he is not main stream, he is kind of different from the average kid, but he is a very good hearted kid, good looking, good at sports...I just don't get it and I worry a lot about him in the future.  Is there anything I can do for him?  And if he is happy...should I just let it be?
In Topics: Friendships and peer relationships
> 60 days ago



Apr 14, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

Interesting.  As a family counselor, there may not be a problem, but we all need at least or a few good friends.  Does he not even have just one?  One of my sons was a social animal and the other seemed quite content to focus on grades and band etc. BUT....yes, I would like at least one or a few.  
Now...if he doesn't connect well, that may be where we can make a difference.
I just mentioned in a previous answer that some kids have more emotional intelligence than others.  Your son may need to role play or need some tips of what to do to better develop relationships.   You seem quite social and I bet you could be a good teacher.   Let me know.
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