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Lilly4u
Lilly4u asks:
Q:

My 15 year old son insist that I left him alone was he was a small child.  He tells me he hates me.  

My 15 y/o son insists that I left him alone throughout his childhood.  For the last couple of years he tells me he hates. He acts out in school, doesn't do school work and he smokes pot. The last 5 months were better as far as him hugging me and telling me he loves me, until today.  He got in trouble in school.  He said I told him he was a mistake.  I did not say that to him. He always twists what is said. I said he disappointed me and that he means the world to me.  He hates me again and is insisting I left him alone as a child and that is where I messed up as a mother.  He will not listen to me.  How do I change what he believes.
In Topics: School and Academics, Parenting / Our Family
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Dr.Monika
May 23, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

Your son's acting out and using drugs are cries for help.  Sounds like there is something going on with him on the emotional level.  Has he been depressed?  Moody?  Doe she get outbursts of anger?  Any of these, or even the sole fact that he uses drugs, need attention of an adolescent therapist as soon as possible.  Your son's regular health care provider will be able to refer you to one in the community.  

Best regards.
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Additional Answers (4)

ChiefLaughALot
ChiefLaughA... writes:
That sounds really intense. Quite frankly I don't know a 15 year old boy in this country who isn't confused and scared. How they "show" that varies. In all likelihood he doesn't "hate" you, but is really lost in his own self. Ponder his friends, maybe try to redirect his activities into areas that will surround him positive reinforcement (church is an easy go-to but most kids not in church aren't going to want to start now). Even a local YMCA to get into a casual sport, or have him get a part time job just to keep him busy so he doesn't have much time to sit and brood. Find ways to boost his self esteem. Don't focus on how this is affecting you but focus on how you can boost him into loving himself and that may just come back to you...
> 60 days ago

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JamielaIsmail
JamielaIsmail , Teacher writes:
hello there
 i do feel that you should have a heart to heart talk with him.  boys are very different beings and they always need a lot of love and caring, plenty of encouragement, and positive reinforcement.  Ask him what makes him think that you abandoned him, speak to him about it makes you feel when he gets into trouble and how together you can solve issues.  if he does not want to listen to you, then ask your priest to speak to him.  i am concerned about the pot smoking, so have him seen by a counselor. I wish you well.  there is a good book called Raising Boys by Steven Biddulph - he gives you great practical ideas on handling boys lovingly yet sternly.
God bless
> 60 days ago

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fast-kaydence
fast-kaydence writes:
What you do is just sit somewhere with him and talk. Take him for ice-cream. Take him to the movies. Take him to dinner. And one day he will look in the future, and say I love you!
> 60 days ago

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Jiff
Jiff , Student writes:
Try personally talking to him and showing how much you love him by taking him to his favorite place, favorite, food, and all that and truly talk ot him even if he thinks he wouldn't listen.
> 60 days ago

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