What a difficult time for both you and your son. I hope we can help you start to connect with him again and good things will come from there. Teens may feel grown up but they still need the important adults in their lives to reach out to them for genuine connection!

What I want you to try is this:Set aside some time when you promise yourself you're not going to guide him or teach him or get upset about anything he says, you're just going to be with him and enjoy the time together. You don't need to go anywhere, spend any money or make a big deal about it. You can start with as few as five minutes.

During that time, focus your mind on the good things about your son, the things you love about him, the fun times you have had together, the memories you cherish. Then just follow his lead. It may take a while for your availability to sink in. But what he needs here is to feel how much you care about him and want things to go well for him. That connection with you is vital to his well being and he can use it as an anchor to right himself in troubled times.

There's a link at the bottom of this note that talks more about how this process can work and the changes that are possible once he gets grounded in his connection to you once again.

Good luck to you both. Let us know how it goes,

Julianne Idleman
Hand in Hand Parenting
www.handinhandparenting.org