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Kathlink
Kathlink asks:
Q:

HELP!!! I have a 15 year old who is spiraling out of control..Dad is letting him...

I have a 15 year old son who thinks he is old enough to choose when and what  he does with his life. The way he is has a lot to do with his father, whom has been out of the house since he was born..He still visits him on a regular basis, and some of those days are school days, court ordered. My son hates school, and his father has had him kicked out of several for reasons such as, disagreeing with reasons for detention and it will escalate to threatening school councilors, principals etc...He does not agree with me or the schools regarding the IMPORTANCE of an education..(we are still talking about Dad here). His father is the type who has no respect for anyone who tells him he or his son is doing something they should not be doing, and will tell you so..You can just imagine how meets go at school..this is where my son will be asked to depart from that school. I can NO LONGER do this anymore..I want my son to get the help that he needs..My son is learning to be disrespectful towards anyone, and everyone who will try to discipline him or just point out something that needs improving. I have 2 other children, .. They would never treat me, or anyone with disrespect. Mostly because they do not have my sons father in their life, yes my 15 year old is from a dif father. My son has engaged in drugs, and will argue the fact when you tell him they are not good for you, or that drugs will ruin your life. He refuses to go to school,I do NOT take NO for an answer..I make him,dad doesn't.
In Topics: Motivation and achievement at school, Teen issues, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Feb 15, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

We're sorry to hear you're struggling with your son, but keep up the good work!  That might sound strange, but based on the situation you're in, you're doing a great job.  Things sound like they would be easier, though, if he weren't enduring these negative influences (i.e., his father.)

In a perfect world, we'd say limit his time with his dad if he truly is the culprit behind your son's misbehavior, but he has the right to see his son based on what the courts have handed down.  Perhaps you could speak with a family lawyer about the situation and get some advice.  We wish we could give you legal advice, but that's not our expertise.

Also, if you haven't considered counseling yet, give it some thought.  Perhaps some regular time to talk to a professional and work through his thoughts and feelings will help your son think clearer.

Good luck!

MKM, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
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Additional Answers (3)

Dr.Monika
Dr.Monika , Child Professional writes:
Being a prarent of a teenager is difficult, especially when he acts out!  My heart goes out to you...
I think that your son needs professional help.  He should see a pediatric therapist as soon as possible.  His regular health care provider will be able to suggest one in your community.

Bets regards.
> 60 days ago

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Parri
Parri writes:
I feel for you! sounds like maybe you need to see about removing dad from the son's life legally. Have you aver taken him to a counselor for an evaluation? As for his Father he sounds like a lost cause who is being neglectful to his sons best interest.
> 60 days ago

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Kathlink
Kathlink writes:
Thank you so much for the kind words.Yes I have tried a counselor, and honestly I am in the process of setting him up for more therapy. I am so worried that we are beyond repair here. I am of course willing to do anything to help my son. I REALLY appreciate all the advice from those of you on here. I do agree with someone whom said I should see what I can do legally to change the court orders for visitation..although I am a bit apprehensive do to the fact that DAD is a VERY good manipulator when it comes to the courts. I have gone against him 15x in Family Probate (and won), and am sure I can handle yet another day of his false accusations in a court room. I plan to open the courts eyes as to what kind of person-father he really is , and hope the court sees the truth and limits his visitation. They must see that he is ruining his education, and outlook on life as a teen,and a soon to be adult. Wish me luck and I shall let you know how it goes....Thank you again for listening, and the advice.

Much appreciated,
Kat
> 60 days ago

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