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hellodolly
hellodolly asks:
Q:

My 16 Year old Daugther Skipped Class. What should I do?

I have grounded her before for this behavior and she still has been doing it. The school assigns her a school punishment like detention or community service. Like I said above I have grounded her before. Last time she was grounded for a week this time two. But it doesn't seem to sink in. What should I do?
In Topics: Back to school
> 60 days ago

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EdEd
EdEd writes:
There may be a lot of options/strategies, but probably the most important is getting to the bottom of why she wants to skip, and trying to address that issue. In general, there are 2 categories of reasons why kids may skip school - things they are trying to avoid/get out of at school (bullying, hard work, structure, etc.), or things they want to do outside of school (e.g., hang out with friends, work).

One important thing to keep in mind is that, as much as possible, it's important to form an alliance with your daughter - not just doing things TO her, but WITH her. The more she feels coerced or forced into doing things, the less likely she is to listen, cooperate, and join forces with you. Especially since she will soon be an adult and able to make her own decisions anyway, it's important to build a strong alliance with her so you can have an influence in her life even after she doesn't legally have to listen to you anyway.

One specific way you can start to do this is by having an open-minded conversation with her about her thought process - not trying to accuse her, change her mind about anything, or get her to see things differently, but just listening - hearing what she has to say - her struggles, frustrations, interests, thoughts. Over time, let her know that you've decided that you want to help her achieve what is in her heart and dreams. Often times, kids think that some negative behavior such as skipping school is what they want, but it may not give them what they really want in the long-term. In order for them to see this, though, you need to have their ear, which you gain by being on their side as much as possible, listening, minimizing judgement, giving them realistic control over their lives where in makes sense, etc.

This is just general, advice, though - there are many different reasons why a child may skip school, and each of those situations may require a different response. I'd try to continue (or initiate, if you haven't already) contact with support personnel at school such as her counselor, to continue to get advice that is specific for your child.
> 60 days ago

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haileycolt
haileycolt writes:
talk to her about it, find out WHY she is skipping, most of the time when a teen skips they will say its because they don't like class or they had something better to but usually those are lies and there is an underlying cause like bullying or something to that degree. find out why and then try to fix the problem and if you cant get her to talk to her take her to a counselor, even a school counselor maybe, they might get her to open up more than you can, so the issue can be fixed.
> 60 days ago

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