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kellygg
kellygg asks:
Q:

16 yr old daughter with 1st bf, also 16 & dating 3 months. He always asks her to do things last minute. They text & video chat 24-7, Is this normal?

My daughter is 16 years old and has her first boyfriend, he is also 16 and they have been dating 3 months. He seems nice and both are athletes. He always says they should hang out over the weekend but never makes specific plans; if he does it is always last minute. She holds backs making plans with friends, I believe waiting for him to ask, and many times ends up not doing anything. They text and video chat all the time and usually until late at night. Is this normal?
In Topics: Teen sexuality and dating
> 60 days ago

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BigSis
BigSis writes:
Hi kellygg,

From what you've described it sounds like they have a relationship that you approve of, besides the part about him making last minute plans with her.

Taking from my experience, I think it's normal to be infatuated with the person you're with during the beginning stages of a relationship. Maybe as time goes by and as they both mature, they will give each other more space to grow and be their own person. It's fun to spend time with your boyfriend or girlfriend but it's also important to keep your friends in the picture.

My advice to you would be to talk to your daughter and ask her why she holds back from making plans with friends. During this conversation, maybe you can suggest to her that she should plan to hang out with friends and if he happens to ask her to do something last minute, she can either invite him to come or tell him that they'll do something the following day.

While nurturing a romantic relationship is important, it's also very important to nurture your relationship with friends. Good friends will be there for you if your romantic relationship doesn't work out and they will help you through it. It's a lifesaver having family and friends supporting you through a difficult time but some friends won't stick around if you don't work on keeping a good relationship with them.

I hope this helps. Good luck!
> 60 days ago

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kellygg
kellygg writes:
Thank you Bigsis! Yes, I approve of the boy but it is the late night communications I worry about (her grades are slipping) and isolation from friends. This is great advise and I will use it; Thank you!
> 60 days ago

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AParentandTeacher
AParentandT... writes:
Last minute "planning" (if you can call it that) is typical at my house.  My daughter 18, her bf 17.  Lots of texting & Skype, but sometimes that turns into no plans too. Seems normal to me ;-)
> 60 days ago

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Sarpax
Sarpax writes:
Unfortuantely it is.
> 60 days ago

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