Dear Anonymous,

First, at the risk of sounding dramatic, I must mention that if you ever feel so sad that you think about hurting yourself, please, please, please mention this to your parents, a trusted teacher, or a school counselor. You can also call a hotline to talk with someone at Boys Town. Boys Town is a wonderful organization filled with counselors who are trained to listen. Their number is 1 (800) 448-3000 or check them out online: http://www.boystown.org/AboutUs/hotline/Pages/CrisisHotline.aspx

Now, assuming that you do not want to hurt yourself and just want tips for talking to your guy, I want you to know that I get it that you care about this guy very much. I imagine that you think about him and what it would be like to date him often. I mention this because I want you to understand that I know how big and intense your feelings are. I get it that this guy is very important to you, and you want to know how you can win his love.

Although your feelings are real and should be honored, I feel that I should also say what you probably already know. That is, it would be risky and illegal for you and this guy to date while you are only 17 years of age. You most likely feel mature enough to date this guy, but in the eyes of "the law", you are a minor. If you and this guy were to date while you are 17, adults in your life could get him in very serious trouble with law enforcement. Thus, I would invite you to wait until you are 18 before seriously pursuing something with him. I know it may seem like forever, but it will be worth it to avoid the risk and stress of dating him while you are a minor.

In the meantime, you should consider "practicing" your dating skills with boys your own age. You may think that all of the boys in your school are "too immature" for you, but I guarantee that they are not too immature to recognize you as an interesting and compelling person that they would like to get to know better. You don't have to get serious with anyone, just focus on strengthening your social skills with guys. Identify one or two guys at school who you think are cute. Next, while walking in the halls, practice making eye contact with them for three seconds (say, "one alligator, two alligator, three alligator" in your mind), smile, and then look away. During lunch, approach a guy and ask him about a homework assignment from a class you share. Keep the conversation going by asking him how he plans to finish the homework, what does he do at home after finishing his homework, etc. Just have fun with it. Consider it a fun, challenging assignment. You can apply these skills to pursuing the guy you first wrote about (after you turn 18) or other guys you find interesting.

Hope that helps! Please keep us posted!

L. Compian, Ph.D.
Counseling Psychologist
Education.com Expert Panel

dear anonymous,
i am a person of ur age only, i can understand the feelings u have expressed.u r just 17yrs and u r a minor, 17yrs is not enough to take decision about ur future, sometimes it may go wrong.the love at this age is infactuation. if any one who is cute crosses u,u will turn towards them and c them for a second. u will also think that u want to marry such a cute person in future. thinking like thah is not wrong but that doesn't happen always. u r just 17, not an correct to love. concentrate in ur studies. do ur acadamics well. u have more age enjoy, this is the time to study. if u love any1 c that they are in ur age level so that he will understand ur feelings well.share things with ur friends.concentrate ur mind in some activites like drawing painting etc.