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kittyrescue
kittyrescue asks:
Q:

How can I keep my 19 year old daughter from seeing her 25 year old abusive boyfriend?

I have a beautiful 19 year old daughter that lives at home.  She is seeing this 25 year old man that verbally and physically abuses her.  She has told us that he has pushed her and just recently slapped her across the face at a party in front of many other people.  He was taken from the party and no one reported it.  She said she would no longer see him but tonight my husband ran into them in a grocery store.  He was talking to a co-worker and did not want to make a scene.  If I would have been there it would have been different.  She lies about where she is going and who she is with.  I told her it will not get better.   After verbal and slapping then comes punching and kicking and worse.  She is too immature to understand this.  I think of terrible things I want to do to him - but I have smaller children to take care of.  I feel so angry all the time and don't know what to do.  My husband wants to make her leave the house and I don't know if this is right thing to do.  I is making things here at our home very stressful and my husband and I are loosing many nights of sleep.  I want her to see a therapist - but she has no health insurance.  I really need some advice.  Please help!
In Topics: Teen issues, Teen sexuality and dating
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Wayne Yankus
Jan 11, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

First google counseling services in your community and see what may be available for free or for minimal fee.  Next, get a lawyer to protect you and her. Go to the Legal Aid Society and ask about what your rights are. Then speak to a trusted person such as a clergy person if you are in a faith community. Talk with the police and find out about restraining orders against the abuser. Many state schools provide abuse/anger management classes. Check out what is available to your family.

Wayne Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatricsWayne Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics

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Additional Answers (3)

Enaide
Enaide writes:
Make him not want to see your daughter by giving him a taste of his own medicine, what he gives is what he will get three fold.  Paper and talk do not get rid of bullies, we all know what gets rid of bullies.
> 60 days ago

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jessie205
jessie205 writes:
Well first of all she is 19 and when they reach a certain age you no as well as I do that there is not much we as parents can do when it comes to dating but as long as she is living at home at least you no at little bit of what is going on and that way you no more and more then if it continues you should contact someone like a counciler or maybe try to get her to see a therapist because she is not the only person in this world today that has been hit or is in an abusive relationship.At least if she still lives at home you no somewhat that is going on with her and then maybe you can sit down and try to talk to her and then maybe see if you can get her to talk to someone about it, because there's not one person I no of that likes being in an abusive relationship when there's alot of guys out there that would be happy to take her out and spend time with her
> 60 days ago

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haileycolt
haileycolt writes:
its hard but sometimes people have to make and learn from their own mistakes and sometimes there just isn't much you can do other than call the cops and have them investigate but for the most part you have to let her realize on her own that its not going to get any better otherwise she wont learn and it will just happen over and over and over again because she will fall for the same type of guy because she didn't learn her lesson now.
> 60 days ago

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