Hi icare,

I'm going to be honest here: you're in a very hard situation, and I feel for you. Unfortunately, there is no right answer to your current situation.

As someone from a family that has dealt with depression, the most important piece of advice I can give you is do NOT give up on him. It's especially important during the toughest times like these, because that's when he's really going to need you the most, especially if he has been having suicidal thoughts. I know it's very hard to keep in mind that these behaviors aren't his fault when you're at your wit's end with him, but do everything you can to make sure he knows you are not going anywhere and will always be there to help him any way you can.

This doesn't mean you have to be a pushover -- like you said, he's lied to you in the past, and giving in to everything he asks for won't help him in the long run. It's hard to stay supportive during the daily ups and downs of depression, especially during times when he's doing self-destructive things you just can't understand -- I've been there, I know how endlessly frustrating it can be. But remember that depression is different for everyone and affects their families in different ways. The one piece of advice that will typically work for every family is to always be there for your loved one.

If you are able to work through this rough patch and he decides to go back to school or get a job, make sure he has a plan. Try and sit down with him and work out a simple plan, with simple goals he can easily attain, that won't cost you or him a lot of time, effort, or money. Maybe with some small steps, you can get him on the right track again.

I don't know if any of this advice will work, but it's worth a shot! Best wishes to you and your family.

I am very sorry to hear that and I know how it feels.  I recently just lost an aunt that I was very close to and she just took her life away.  My advice to you is first explain to him that there is a problem, don't try to give him direct advice but if he asks for help be sure to deliver that to him.  Second, explain that asking for help does not mean they lack moral character.  Third, learn everything you can about clinical depression.  Fourth, provide emotional support.  Fifth, provide physical support.  Sixth, monitor possible suicidal gestures or threats.  Seventh, don’t try to talk the depressed person out of his or her feelings.  Eighth, step back every so often.  Ninth, communicate with other people in the person's support network.  Tenth, take good care of yourself. Eleventh, stay in contact.  About him lying to you I don't really have any advice for that but I would take in concederation that he DOES have a problem which needs to be solved as soon as possible. Hope this helps and I am very sorry about the situation.  Below is a link which might be more specific and easier to understand. :)

Im sorry to hear this because I've struggled with depression since I was about that age and im 33 now, but I went to several different doctor's and psychiatrist and therapist and the best thing that has helped me and may help your son also. I got me a notebook that no one knows about and when I get upset I write down what Im feeling and why I feel that way, and even talk to some people about it but it's really hard at times to do. Another thing is to let him no that you're there for him no matter what because the security of knowing that will help him alot, because when someone is depressed they think that everyone is against them and no one is there for them even though you no that you are, try this and if I can help look me up Im on here everyday now