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justmyluckfor2
justmyluckf... asks:
Q:

My 1st grader son was beat up after school on school grounds by a 4th grader what do I do?

My son which is a 1st grader was kicked and punched several times in the stomach by a 4th grader yesterday after school while on school grounds, the duty person saw what happened and and sent them on their way.  She didn't take them to the office she just sent them home.  I went into the office this morning to find out what the heck was going on and why I wasn't notified and they said that they were going to call this morning to find out what happened.  The office used the excuse that the duty person was a sub and she probably didn't know the rules.  They also told me that the principal is out of the office till next week.  They said that they are going to do an investigation to see what happened.  My husband and I are so upset over this and don't know what to do, we feel like the school is walking all over us.  Got any advice????
In Topics: Working with school administrators, Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Nov 5, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Thank you for contacting Education.com.

We are sorry to hear that your son was attacked after school, and that no one seemed to take charge of the situation. The substitute did not handle the situation well by just sending the kids on their way. Since the incident occurred on school grounds, the school is responsible for what happened. If the principal is out of the office, then the school counselor or the children's classroom teachers need to get involved as soon as possible.

More and more schools are implementing anti-put down and anti-bullying programs. Hopefully your school will take a proactive approach and give this boy a consequence for his behavior. They should also involve the boy's parents and provide them with resources to help their son with his anger and aggression. Try not to let your son hear you talk about the situation with the school so as not to make him feel more anxious, but assure him that everyone is working hard to make sure he and all the kids are safe and that this never happens again.

Aside from the school politics, the most important factor is that you continue to provide nurturing and emotional support for your son. Allow him to express his feelings. Reinforce to him that what the other boy did was wrong, as well as teach him ways he can protect himself if something like this happens again. A\Teach him to use his words to defend himself. You can practice scenarios at home and encourage him to say "no" or "leave me alone" with conviction by looking the bully in the eye. He should also not be afraid to tell a teacher or another adult when he is bullied or if he is feeling scared.

If you would like to speak with a counselor about his in more detail, please call or e-mail our Hotline. We are available 24/7 for parents and children. Take care and best wishes to you and your son!

Sincerely,
Cynthia, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
hotline@boystown.org
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Additional Answers (2)

aqblickley
aqblickley writes:
Hi justmyluckfor2,

I am so, so sorry to hear that your son was physically assaulted. That is absolutely heartbreaking. It is unacceptable that the school seems to be unaware of the severity of the situation.

It is a parent's right to feel fully confident in the ability of the school to protect your child's safety, especially since you are leaving him at school for hours each day. If you truly feel like the school is walking all over you, it may be time to move up the ladder and speak to the superintendent of the school district, or someone in a higher position of power.

There should be consequences for the student(s) who kicked and punched your son, and the consequences should be immediate - not days after the incident occurred.

Additionally, I think the school should be training their substitute teachers better in school rules - especially when it comes to violent behavior. It is not okay that the teacher on duty did nothing about the situation. Whether or not she was familiar with the details of the school's rules, it is a no-brainer to DO something about violent and aggressive behavior. I think this is another issue to bring up with the school principal or superintendent.

Again, I'm sorry that you and your family are in this unfortunate situation. It is very frustrating that the school doesn't seem to be listening. If you are unhappy waiting around for the principal, or unhappy with the principal's reaction next week, I would not hesitate to bring the issue to the principal's supervisor.

Good luck.
> 60 days ago

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justice65
justice65 , Caregiver, Parent writes:
The first thing I don't understand is why the school has a "sub" that does not know how to use common sence in first place and obviously has a lack of proper training which makes the school more liable for failing to prottect your child . When a school principal is out for several days he by law has to leave someone in charge of the school . First thing you need to do is file a complaint about the incident and if your child had to go to the hospital send a copy of it with your complaint .You want to state that if no one gets back to you ,you will file a complaint with the superintendent of schools .The superintendent will definitely take some action on it Ps Allowing bullying acts in school grounds is illegal  .Good Luck
> 60 days ago

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