Children regress under stressful circumstances. Very small children do not have the words to tell us what is bothering them so they will often show us with their behavior. They will become less developed in their coping skills, they will lose skills they once had (potty training, sleeping through the night etc..). They may cling more, tantrum more, lose the ability to calm themselves. Of course a child under the age of two has limited self soothing skills anyway. Your child may be very stressed. The stress may or may not be coming from your home. Sometimes, when children are stressed outside the home (school, daycare, at another caregivers house) they show their worst behavior back at home. Do you and your ex get along? How do you interact with each other in front of your child? Do you have any information on the environment your toddler is living in while he is not with you? What type of schedule and routine is used there? Is it vastly different from yours. Is the environment in both homes, calm, peaceful, predictable and drug and alcohol free. Your baby needs lots of focus and attention during this time.

If you are able to have a reasonable conversation with your ex, you would be wise to sit down and discuss the routines and schedules used at both houses. Keeping things as similar as possible will help. Working together to look for clues as to what might be stressful to your child will also help. If you are not able to communicate without causing each other harm, I would recommend you use your attorneys or mediators to communicate for you.

If your child spends time at daycare or another caregivers home try to find out how he behaves when he is there? Frightened, clingy? Fearful of social interactions. Or is he generally happy and ready for play.

If there seems to be no additional cause for the stress, it is possible your toddler is reacting to the stress of his parents separating. The adjustment will take time and the child will need lots of extra reassurance, holding, love and support during the difficult process. Just like anyone going through the dissolution of a family, this is a grief process. Your little one has to grieve too.