michellewha... asks:

My 2 year old boy will not use the potty.

he cries when i put him on the potty and i have like 3 pottys that i have tried and he still wont go i have big boy underwear that i but on him and i take him to the potty and when he gets off the potty he pees and poops in his underwear what do i do?
In Topics: Potty Training, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago



May 28, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Hi there,
It's great that you are so enthusiastic about potty training, however, by everything you are describing, your son is not yet ready to give up his diapers!

In fact, two-years old is very young for a boy to be interested in or able to successfully use the potty. There is a large range of ages when kids are ready to learn this big milestone and it almost always happens after parents are ready for it, so we must be patient! Most boys do so between three and four years old, particularly if they are first children, with no older siblings role modeling for them. Some girls will toilet train around two, but they aren't the rule, but the exception. I would suggest the following:

1. Leave only one potty in your bathroom and don't make your son use it at all. If you force a child to try and use the potty, you run the very real risk of him beginning to withold and become constipated, feeling guilty and that he is failing you.

2. Wait until you see signs that he is ready. These will include an interest in the potty, an interest in wearing underwear, that he is telling you he is peeing or pooping, that his diapers are staying drier for longer periods of time.

3. When he is finally ready to try and wear underwear, you need to make a serious commitment to helping him succeed, which probably means taking a potty with you everywhere so he can use it whenever he needs to. It also means using lots of praise and positive reinforcement for success.

4. Remember, potty training MUST be a positive experience for your child, or it can lead to complications and emotional problems. I strongly suggest you be patient and wait until you see the signs that he is ready. Then it will be a great experience for both of you.

Good Wishes and Great Parenting,
Dr Susan Bartell
JustAsk Expert
Twitter @drsusanbartell
NEW book “The Top 50 Questions Kids Ask”

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