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siibo
siibo asks:
Q:

 I have 3 1/2 year old bilingual son. Started preschool 2 weeks ago. He doesn't want to go to school, he doesn't understand anything...Help!

My son is 3 and a half now and he had been to a preschool in our country before and never ever cried even for once. He was the happiest kid in school. It was a half day school and he didn't stay for the nap time there.
We moved to the US one month ago and my son started preschool 2 weeks ago. The first day of the preschool, he was fine until he woke up from the nap time which was already the end of the day. The second day when I left him again, he did okay but cried 2 times this time: lunch and after nap time. The problem is the teachers cannot grab his attention during he is crying because of the language barrier. Then, I (the mother) stayed at school everyday making shortdays(2 hrs) with him until he feels safe, and he gets to know his teachers and friends.It has been like 7-8 days that I've stayed with him at school.During my stays, at the first 2 days he still wanted to go home. Later on, he was fine at school if I was there.  Yesterday, I left him at school again for only 1 one hour; and he was crying and yelling mom on my legs; and the teacher took him in to the classroom. I told him that I love him and I will come back when he will be done with his drawing and right after his toy share. When I went to school 1 hour later he was still crying at the school's playground next to his teacher and all his friends were playing. He had nightmares last night several times! He already had the night terror!Now he cannot sleep and begging me not to take him to sc
In Topics: Self esteem and identity, Preparing my child for preschool
> 60 days ago

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Answers (1)

CJA829
CJA829 writes:
Hi siibo,

I hope since you asked your question you, your and son and his school have been able to resolve some of the issues.
It's not out the ordinary to kids to cry, scream, throw fits and be upset about being left at school or when they have to say good-bye to their parent/s after they get dropped off. I've even known little boys who cried at their moms leaving but as soon as mom was out the door they calmed down and went about their day (this was of course after many other days of tearful goodbyes, first).
As long as he's not being bullied or bothered by others at school, causing him to be scared some "tough love" may be in order.
I understand your son has the extra circumstance of a language barrier, but as long as he is with adults he can trust he should eventually learn to trust in his surroundings and eventually his separation anxiety should lessen. You'll have to let him be at school without you; it will also help him learn to cope with stressful situations and learn that he can do it. And you can work together on what phrases to say that will express how he's feeling.
Best Wishes!
> 60 days ago

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