Anonymous asks:

My 3 1/2 year old daughter does not listen to any one. And thinks its funny when she does get in trouble.

We have a mine,yours and ours of a family. We have a 4 month old baby. I have a hard time finding time to spend one on one with at least 2 of my  kids. I decided to spend some quality time with them once they have done there chores but they never get there chores done so then we don't get to spend time together. I feel that might be why my daughter is acting out and also because I have been stressed out. She likes to test us with every thing. She has became out of control. I do time outs, and yes I have done spanking that makes things a lot worse. At church today I took my baby for a walk and decided to walk by primary to listen and to see how my kids our doing in there, I noticed that my daughter would not  hold still and wouldn't listen to anyone so I decided to sit in with her to help. I need some suggestions. Also I think it might help to have her on a schedule but I am having a hard time coming up with one most of the time I have my 5 1/2 year old she goes to school from 9-12, and I have my 3 1/2 year old she does not go to school, and then I have my baby he is almost 5 months. I need some ideas to get my daughter under control and also some help with coming up with schedule for my daughter.
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago



Boys Town National Hotline
Feb 14, 2012
Subscribe to Expert

What the Expert Says:

Parenting can be very stressful at times and when a child mocks or laughs it can be very frustrating.  We think it is great that you are wanting to spend time with each of your children and you are setting boundaries for chore time and fun time with mom.  Great idea.  

When you need your 3 1/2 yo  to listen, remove distractions, such as shut off the TV or stop the video, put your hand over the toy she is playing with.  
Then get her to look at you by touching her face, perhaps raising her chin so she looks at your eyes, or placing a hand on each cheek so she is turned toward you.  
Get on her level or raise her up to your level so you are eye to eye.  Use a normal voice tone rather than a louder voice.  
The other strategy that parents have found helpful is to increase your praise.  If when she hears your voice, it is more likely you are praising her rather than telling her not to do something, or to do something she doesn't want to do, she will be more likely to listen.  When she looks at you when you speak, say something like, " good job looking at Mommy", or "good girl using your listening skills".

As you know spanking is not an effective skill that should be used and as you stated, it made things worse.  Give these other strategies a try and let us know how they work for you.

Boys Town National Hotline

Did you find this answer useful?
Answer this question


You are about to choose ${username}'s answer as the best answer.

Cancel | Continue

*You can change the best answer in the future if you think that you received a better answer

How likely are you to recommend to your friends and colleagues?

Not at all likely
Extremely likely