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spencer.goats
spencer.goats asks:
Q:

3 1/2 year old son cries with daddy when mommy leaves

 Our son is 3.5 years (Aug08) and really since his younger brother was born at the end of December 2010 always cries with my husband. He's been the only dad in his life since he was 18 months (Feb 10). Finally in November 2011 it started getting better, our son was having fun with him and would play, now we've gone backwards like when his brother was first born. I leave to take care of livestock and he cries with his dad, he doesn't cry when I step out of the house when his dad isn't home. My husband asks him to come play or pick up his toys and he begins to ball if eyes out. With me and everyone else he is a happy child. My husband thinks by making him stay in his room by himself with no toys, no books and not interacting with me at all unless its time to eat, get a drink, or help in the bathroom. My husband hopes that by not allowing him to do anything he will want to play with him when he comes home. (I am a stay at home mom and he is a truck driver home on the weekends.) My husband loves him as his own, never spanks him, but isn't a pushover. I don't coddle him when he cries, I tell him he makes daddy sad by not wanting to play with him, he doesn't say things like "I don't like daddy, I hate you" or anything negative. I just don't know what to do. Were trying not to let it interfere with our matrices but my husband is hurt at why our son doesn't want to be with him. Thank you for your help.
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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PositivelyMe
PositivelyMe , Teacher, Parent writes:
Children can detect favoritism even if it is a subconscious action on the part of the parent. Even though infants require more urgent attention, make sure baby brother isn't receiving more favorable attention. Is it possible for the three of you to have 10 minutes of happy playtime together every day Daddy is home? Perhaps during baby brother's nap time. Your older son needs to see YOU having fun, laughing and playing with Daddy, and giving him your full attention. Also whenever Daddy comes home during waking hours, run to the door and greet him with a hug and a smile telling him you missed him. I have done this with my husband in front of my children from the very beginning, and now my teenage children do the same! Your son will learn to love and enjoy your husband if you do. Remember, this too will pass, and so does childhood - way too quickly. Good luck.
> 60 days ago

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damonc
damonc writes:
Maybe if your husband is able to do everything feeding, washing, and bedtime (trying to make him dependent) on his father while you are both home your son will become more comfortable when you are gone.  My son is 3.5 too and preferres his mother but, is ok with me when she's gone because I work to share in the giving baths, mealtime, etc.  The big challenge is that your husband is gone for lengths at a time so there may be a 'shock' when their is a big change such as you leaving.  

I attacted a link discussing so childhood developement for 3 year old from pbs.org

I hope this is helpful.

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