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alybri
alybri asks:
Q:

Does my 3 year old sister hate me or is she just spoiled?

My sister is 3 years old. The thing is its been awhile that she has had bad temper with me and only me. I have another sister that is 17 years old and the majority of the time is treated better than me. I am 18 years old and sometimes I feel like I'm fighting with a teenager! If my mom picks me up after school, she will look at me and tell me "Don't look at me" or "Stop!" consistently. Sometimes I wont do anything. But it just really drives me crazy. My mom gives her more discipline than my stepdad. But its very hard when she is told no about something and she runs to my stepdad and he allows her to get away with things. MY stepmom does tell him that she is the way she is because he spoils her. Bt he doesn't see it. He tells everyone "She is my baby and if they don't like it, I'm sorry". Its sad that when I look at her she is this beautiful little girl but then once her mouth opens it fades away. Today we went to the mall to get an icecream. As I was telling the cashier what I wanted I accidently touched her balloon because she was behind me and threw a fit. I hope that my mom can get this behavior to stop. Maybe.
In Topics: Teen issues, Discipline and behavior challenges, Parenting siblings
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
May 16, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Thanks for contacting Education.com!

Sometimes it is not easy being the oldest child in the family!  Parents can change their parenting styles from their first to their last child, and it can be frustrating to the older ones to remember how things used to be when they were young.

Even though you may not agree with the way your mom and stepfather discipline your sister, ultimately they are the ones in charge and make the decsions on how she is being raised.  As your sister grows, she will be be around more people and will start school soon.  If your sister has a behavior problem the school will most likely address it by talking to your parents.  

It's very doubtful that your sister "hates" you.  She most likely looks up to you!  What you can do as an older sister is to set a good example and be a positive role model.  You can show her kindness and can teach her about consistency.  Children thrive on routines.  You can read to her, play games with her, take her to the park, etc.  Make a special time when the two of you can be together.  When she behaves poorly, you can let her know that you don't like her behavior, but make sure she knows that you still like her.

If you would like to talk about this or any other issue, please contact our Hotline.  We are here 24 hours, 7 days a week.  We are here for teenagers who are going through many different issues.  We can also be reached by e-mail through one of our websites listed below.  
Thanks again for reaching out.  Take care and best wishes to you!

Cynthia, Crisis Counselor

Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000

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Additional Answers (2)

TheGoToMom
TheGoToMom , Parent writes:
3 year olds are very difficult at times and moody (from what you can see!). Please be patient. I love that you're so concerned about your little sibling. Most teens walk away and dismiss little people who are bothersome. Children this age are just growing into their newfound independence and are moody, opinionated and defiant. Please know that this shall pass. Try to ignore poor behavior and when you need to address her, state your feelings and what you see. When she's nice to you say, "It feels good to me when you're kind. Thank you." When we are empathic to young kids, they tend to be less frought and angry. Just let her go through this stage and tell her you'd like to be with her but when she's kind and not hurting your feelings. When she's being appropriate smile at her and hug her, again reinforce the message, "It feels so good to be with you when your happy and kind."
> 60 days ago

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Daniel_Guillot
Daniel_Guil... , Parent writes:
I agree with the previous answer.  Kids go through phases as they grow and learn.  Help her grow out of this phase by encouraging good behavior, avoiding situations that you know she will respond poorly to and make sure you try to understand her situation.  Often kids of this age get easily frustrated.  They are trying to become independent, but don't know how yet.  Don't forget to set a good example of how to treat others.  Be aware of what behavior you are showing her and understand how she might interpret your behavior.  Remember, she is 3; she doesn't understand why things happen as they do. Be part of the solution and she will grow up to love and appreciate you.
> 60 days ago

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