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Trinbago
Trinbago asks:
Q:
I have a 3 yr old who is constantly disobeying me in public and chooses to do what she wants. How can I deal with this?
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges, Communicating with my child (The tough talks)
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Jun 30, 2009
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What the Expert Says:

When our children misbehave in public it can be so embarrassing!  We feel that everyone is not only watching us, but judging our parenting skills too. Because we’re embarrassed our reaction is often greater than it would be if the same behavior occurred at home.
 
In fact, many parents spend most of their time reacting to their children’s behavior, often focusing simply on the negative things their kids do.  We encourage you to be proactive when you teach by anticipating what your child will likely do in a situation and teach a more appropriate behavior before that situation occurs again.
 
Take a situation where a small child disobeys in public.  Using a proactive approach the parent would;
1.) Show and tell the positive behavior. (Clearly let her know what you want her to do.)
2.) Practice. (Make it fun and brief, do it often, by pretending or playing games)  
3.) Show Approval. (Use words of praise, encouragement, hugs, or high-fives for her efforts to practice.)
 
If you spend more time and energy proactively teaching what you want your child
“to do” in those situations, you will spend less time correcting the misbehaviors.
 
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000

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Additional Answers (3)

dgraab
dgraab , Parent writes:
We had similar issues with our daughter when she was three, and could have really used the free resources Education.com now has available on this subject, such as...  
 
The Discipline info center: http://www.education.com/topic/discipline/
 
Among the many articles you'll find there..."Eight Practical Tips for Parents of Young Children with Challenging Behavior" http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Behavior_Tips/
 
Another Education.com info center you should check out:
 
Early Years (Birth-5): http://www.education.com/age/early-years/
 
Among the many articles you'll find there..."The Wonderful Three-Year-Old": http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Wonderful_Three_Year/
 
I hope all of the above information is helpful to you and your family.
> 60 days ago

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sierra995
sierra995 writes:
well first you should try a time out dont hit or yell just say it like using your inside voice second if that dosnt work then take there privlages if that doesnt work then i cant help it sorry.
> 60 days ago

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helpingmom
helpingmom writes:
All I know is that my son was defiant and wanted to do only what he wanted to do at three. Now I'm here to try and help him with the same behavior issues at nine. I read somewhere that these issues are cyclical -- around three, then nine/ten, then sixteen, etc. I hope I can help him now so he does not experience the same issues at sixteen. Good luck.
> 60 days ago

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