Hello,

I have a son who's now 7 who sounds very similar to your daughter in terms of his tendency to get "run over" by other kids. I used to worry about it a lot when he was your daughter's age, thinking that it would get worse over time. But actually, he's gotten more confident over time, while still remaining a really "nice" kid.

We try to find "safe" situations for him to assert himself when he wants something. For example, we encourage him to order for himself at restaurants. Something as simple as asking a waitress for pancakes was incredibly painful for him! He would speak so quietly that she couldn't hear him so I would always repeat his order for him but still give him lots of praise and positive reinforcement for trying. Now he's learned to speak loudly and clearly so that he's always understood. I now see him using the same confident voice when he speaks to other kids.

I also tried to help him on the playground without doing things for him. If he wanted to borrow someone's sand toy, I would make him ask the child himself. I would always go with him (and again, repeat for him if he couldn't ask in a loud voice). It was great for him to learn that he could get what he wanted by asking.

Of course, not all kids "play fair" and I was heartbroken many times watching him wait forever for a turn on the swings or with a certain toy as other kids jumped in front of him. But again, I would just try to stand with him and support him in asserting himself in the line. I would never do it for him, but I would whisper in his ear "now say 'can I please have a turn now?'".

He also got run over quite a bit by his younger brother who has NO trouble asserting himself. I would never intervene for my older son in those situations. I would say "you're older and bigger - when it's your turn take your turn - you can do it!". Trying confident interactions on younger siblings (or cousins) is great practice!

I think the most important thing is that you not expect your daughter's situation to change over night. Try to appreciate all the wonderful things that come with her being sensitive. Believe me you'd much rather have that than a pushy kid! Then just keep supporting and encouraging her and give her lots of time.

I hope this helps!

Kat

you need to be more rough with her she thinks she is going to be getting easy for the rest of her life.  ask her some questions like...This person was really meen to mommy at work and they pushed me what should mommy do?