Hello,

Another member asked a similar question that received nine answers, including from Experts (Dr. Laura Kauffman and Boys Town National Hotline)...

What is the right age to start dating, and to what extent?
http://www.education.com/question/age-start-dating-extent/

Personally (as a parent), I believe nine years old is too young to be "dating," particularly in an unchaperoned environment. However, I wouldn't approach the mother with name-calling or judgment (e.g., don't tell her you think she's an "idiot"), and instead would share expert/authoritative information with her to help her reconsider the decision she's made. She may be more receptive to expert info than peer opinion (I know several mothers who will reconsider their parenting decisions or actions if there are scientific studies that suggest or prove that they've erred). Please also encourage this mother to talk to her child's pediatrician or a trusted family doctor about the fact that her daughter is dating (this is particularly important if her daughter begins to experiment with sexual activity).

Thank you for asking!

as myself i havent ever been in a real relationship and i am 16, advice would be to show her the concequences.

Hi.  Oh my goodness, don't they grow up fast?  Remember when you were 5 yrs old and kissed the boy in your Kindergarten class?  There is DATING and there is dating.

Additionally, it can vary by ethnic group.  Some ethnicities encourage having a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" experience as at a young a young age.  No judgments here, right?  Some ethnic and racial groups view having children at a young age as "wealth."

Indeed at 9 yrs old, girls can be so precocious.  They are in the ages of being "boy crazy" really without even understanding the ramifications of their actions yet.  And they are 9 yrs old so that it is ok, right?

What is best?
Ideally, while these girls might be spending time with a boy, a "boyfriend" of the day, their parents, aunties or uncles, or a grandparent is along with them, aka chaperoning them.  At that darling age they are interested and eager.  However, they know so little, including themselves.  It is best to encourage and protect them by including the presence of an adult to join them, yes?

Practical application:
That adult can always drive them to and from the mall to watch the movie.  As you do that, you can also help them learn how to converse on a date by yourself asking kind and gracious inquiring questions.  As their "date" responds, include your child in the conversation.

By your doing so, you help them to learn to converse comfortably with confidence and poise with members of the opposite gender.

Happy Dating and Relationships,


April Braswell
Dating and Relationship Expert
<a href="http://www.aprilbraswell.com rel="follow">Dating Expert</a>

"Dating" at nine years old is not acceptable. Any parent on either end that agrees to this is exposing their children to psychological problems down the road. And honestly, depending on the situation, it may boil down to neglect/abuse of some kind. Just watch it closely. If she is dropping her child off at the movie theater unattended ( this is definately a case).

If there is an obvious "encouragement" to date at this age, there may be a case for reporting her to the local human resources department. They should be able to define the lines between a child abuse situation.


 I AM NOT SAYING that is what this is. It all depends on how the mom is acting on it. Good Luck!

Never. Let children be children and enjoy their childhood as we did.

So many kids have boyfriends/ girlfriends by a young age. My brother has girlfriends since 3rd grade and I am yet to have one. ( I am a student though). It changes for different people. There isn't really anything to do about it. If you feel really strongly about this girl having boyfriends I think you should say something to the mom like " How do you feel about your daughter going out and try as nicely as you can to say that you dont feel it is a good idea." I'd say maybe dating isnt so bad but maybe it is to early to be going out to places at least if it's without an adult. Good Luck.

I have a 9 year old son, and I just want him to have fun being a kid. Dating and girlfriends will come along soon enough. 9 years old is too young for such things. Let children be children. I mean theres nothing wrong with boys and girls interacting, but parents need to set limits.

When I was 9-years-old back in fourth grade, I had my first boyfriend at that age and we began dating, but it was just innocent and sweet and not like teenage dating because there was no making out and our relationship was G or PG-rated and personally, in my own opinion, I think it's okay for 9-year-olds to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend at their age as long as their parents act cautious of the nature of their relationship.

personally i think a 9 year old shouldnt have a boyfriend. shes too young and needs to enjoy being a young girl, not saying she cant hang out with boys.

She is to young to be dating, but there is nothing wrong with being friends with a boy but try to encourage her to do things with groups of friends, being a couple can come when she is older. 9 years are not emotionally mature enough for dating and should be playing and having fun. 9 year olds should not date, wear heels or make up, and should not wear skimpy clothes either. Call me old-fashioned but children should be children and play and not worry about teenager/adult issues. All children should be doing is playing, learning and having fun.

I think its good its a good experiment for how its going to have a loving familly