5 year old Grandson crying

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Nanaaww asks:

I am the Grandmother of a 5 year old little boy. He has been in Pre-K for a month now & every single morning when his Mom or Dad takes him to school he just cries & cries. He has had a couple of really bad tantrums & hung on to his Mom to where one of the teachers literally had to just take him away from her....this happened in the library where the kids go at 7:30 until their teacher arrives to take them to their own classroom. They both work full-time so have to be at work on time. Then several times he will be ok halfway through the day & during PE or another part of the day, he will just all of a sudden start crying for no reason. He has always been extremely shy & introverted, but I thought by now he would have been better. He has stayed in Day Care previous to this. I know it takes him a VERY long time to adjust to changes, but just looking for any suggestions that might help them. Parents have been divorced for about a year now & the Mom (my daughter) lives with her boyfriend now for the last couple of months & he has a 4 1/2 year old daughter which they get along great for the most part. When he knows someone very well, he is so cute, funny & a joy:) Any help would be appreciated :)

In Topics: Preschool, My child's growth and development, Parenting / Our Family

> 60 days ago

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Expert

Wayne Yankus

Sep 26, 2012

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What the Expert Says:

Rule number one is boyfriends don't live with kids until they are husbands--too confusing. Second, child care is a necessity for your grandson who doesn't transition well. Too many transitions going on here--boyfriend, 4 1/2 year old, Dad not at home, etc...Try real hard to keep a schedule which allows him time from sleep to breakfast to school. Let him take a prop such as a stuffed animal (small) with him for security. Have longer stays with one parent and work with your teachers and her aides to help with his day. Be sure he is getting enough sleep at night in his own bed in the same place with the same rules in each house. Fatigue doesn't help school crying.

Most of all you are there for him. Good for you. Be as loving as you are and remind him he will not be left--that some one will always pick him up and if you can, let him know who will do it that day.

Best wishes.

Wayne Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics

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Additional Answers (1)

rmknig writes:

Great answer from the expert. I would also get into a positive dialogue with the teachers. Is there a classmate at school that you can also encourage a nice friendship with, perhaps meeting up at the park, play date etc. once he has latched onto a new friend in class he may be less tearful when dropped off at school.

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