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Blick
Blick asks:
Q:

my 5 year son cries he doesn"t want to go to kindergarten

In Topics: Kindergarten readiness
> 60 days ago

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Expert

lkauffman
Mar 25, 2009
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What the Expert Says:

Dear Blick,

Sounds like a difficult situation! Is your son already in kindergarten, or is he supposed to attend kindergarten in the fall, and he is reluctant to do so?

If your son is in kindergarten now, I would recommend that you talk with your son's teacher to learn more about your son's experience at school. Is he typically fine during the day, but he falls apart when he gets home or when it is time to go to school? Or, does he struggle throughout the day? Are there particular times of the day that are difficult for him? I would also talk with your son about what he does not like about kindergarten.

I also wonder if he is in a full-day or half-day kindergarten. Research shows that parents and teachers typically prefer a full-day kindergarten, it can often be challenging for the child. I know some parents have transitioned their child to a half-day kindergarten when there is an option. You may want to look into this. For more on this, please see the first link below.

If your son stays home from school, it is important that his experience in the home is not "reinforcing." That is, staying at home should not be a super fun, positive experience where he gets to spend a lot of time with his parents. You might also consider rewards for attending school. If he attends school (without crying), he can "earn" a sticker on the calendar, which translates to special time with mommy or daddy. If he gets four or five stickers in a week, he can earn a special prize at the end of the week. I have included a link to an article about school refusal below that may be helpful.

If your son is not in kindergarten and is supposed to begin attending in the fall, there are a number of steps that you can take to prepare him for the transition.

L. Compian, Ph.D.
Counseling Psychologist
Education.com Expert Panel
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Additional Answers (2)

jayeshrathod
jayeshrathod writes:
If your child doesn't want to  go kindergarten then you should tell that how much importance  it has it.like if he does not read so he could not get good marks so,it is important

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lindseyg2008
lindseyg2008 writes:
i work with headstart kids on an internship and from what i've seen the best way to handle this situation is with a grain of salt. you yourself have toughen up and be mom and not friend. you aren't always going to be able to please your children. let him know it is not choice, that it's something he has to do. comfort him about the idea as much as possible. try to find ways to make him want be more independent and want to do things more his own. another idea that may help is stopping in for half hour or so just hang out and be part of his class activities ( kids like it when their parents try to get involved and it doesn't have to be all the time). maybe try doing some similiar activities / crafts that he does at school at home to get him into school stuff. other than that just hang in there and remember that this phase won't last forever.
> 60 days ago

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