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uchben
uchben asks:
Q:

My 5 year old son tantrums at school, my work.

I thought it would be a good idea to enroll him at the same campus I work at.  I'm a new teacher.  I teach 5th grade. He is in pre-k.  He is stressed running out of his class into mine.  He does't want to go to school every morning.  He wants "his old life back" (watching tv and sleeping late) that is his own words.  He get paranoid and constantly asks "who is going to pick him up" and seems to fear the teacher sending him to another class. I know that it takes a great teacher to help children love school and a bad one to hate it.  I think his is okay, lacks nurturing and enthusiasm.  He doesn't respond to her when she test him on shapes and abcs.  He seems to know them when I drill him.  He seats on his chair a few feet away from the circle of children in his class.  The teacher said because his legs are too long and can't seat pretzel style long periods.  That is a lame excuse to me.  I feel he is missing out because I see that in my class with kids.  I am so frustrated and his behavior is not helping.  He throws himself on the floor and scratches his face, eats with his mouth open and he didn't do this before.  At school he ignores me and misbehaves when I walk with him on the halls when I got to pickup stuff from my box.  I thought he would love school.  He was excited about attending.   What can I do?  How can I help him.  I am planning to ask very diplomatically for his teacher to please "make" him sit in the circle.  I don't want him missing out on stuff. Help plz!
In Topics: Back to school, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

BarbK
Nov 5, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

It sounds like you are in a tough situation.  I agree that a good teacher can make it or break it when it comes to a student liking or disliking school.  Here are a few ideas of what you can do, maybe one of them will work.

Talk with the teacher.  Have a parent conference.  Go in with your concerns and see if you can work with her to resolve the problem.

Ask to have your son moved - if there is another Pre-K class.  The teacher he has now maybe put off, but you need to do what is best for your son.

Find another Pre-K program in the area.  Check out the schools to see what their teachers are like and how their program is run.  

Take him out all together.  He might not be ready for conventional schooling.  That is OK.  Unfortunately, many schools are not set up for boys.  We want them to sit still, color in the lines, and listen to stories about cute little bunnies.  Being a teacher you know what he needs to know before attending Kindergarten, so I'm sure he would be ready.

Ask your son what he wants.  Does he want to go to school with you?  Is it that he doesn't like the teachers?  Is it another child in his class?  Would he like to go to another school?  Not that it should be the determining fact, it will give you some additional information.

Talk with other parents.  This may be a little difficult since you are working at the school.  So you may want to do more listening than talking.  See if you can find a parent who volunteers in the classroom, she could shed some light on to what really might be going on.

Hope this helps.  If you need more answers, please don't hesitate to pose another question.  Good luck.

Barb K.
www.lessonpop.com

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