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mamabear2005
mamabear2005 asks:
Q:

my 5 yr old is being bullied

my 5 yr old is being bullied by a girl who is 6 yrs old in his class. i have gone to the teacher a few times about this now, and she seems to have laid back approach to this. i am worried because my son is making himself feel sick so that he doesnt have to go to school. what can i do?
In Topics: Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Mar 1, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

We are very sorry to hear that your son is going through this at school. It must be affecting him more than the teacher wants to admit because he appears to have some anxiety about going to school.

If your son's teacher is not willing to take a serious look at what is happening in her classroom, then it may be time to take it to another school professional who will take it seriously. Contact the school counselor or school social worker if there is one at the school. If not, speak to the principal. Your son's teacher needs to be aware of how the girl's behavior is affecting your son. The earlier this kind of behavior is addressed and dealt with, the sooner the girl, and the whole class for that matter, will understand that put downs and bullying are not tolerated at school.

Our Hotline is here for parents and kids of all ages. You can call or e-mail us with any concerns or questions. We are here 24 hours, 7 days a week to help.  
Thanks again for reaching out.  Take care and best wishes to you and your son!

Sincerely,

Cynthia, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
hotline@boystown.org
www.parenting.org


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Additional Answers (2)

Karenmom
Karenmom writes:
Hi mamabear2005,

This is a really hard question!  I don't think you have a choice, but to arrange an appointment with this teacher and discuss these issues again.  You may even want to request a meeting with the parents of the "bully" child.

It is our school's responsibility to provide a safe environment for our kids, you've spoke with the teacher before and she hasn't helped.  Maybe he/she needs to be made aware that this problem is still creating problems for your child and is effecting him emotionally and physically.  Possibly, he/she will take this more seriously.  If not you may wish to bring the principle in this meeting too.

I'm sorry that this is happening to your 5 year old son and I can imagine how worried you must be.  It's very difficult to know what to do and it places you in a terrible position.  But I believe I would continue to see if the teacher can help to put a stop to this, you may even want to include the guidance counselor in this meeting.  In fact, I recommend it.

If possible, you may want to volunteer in your child's class and see for yourself what is happening in the classroom.  This will provide you with the opportunity to get to know these kids and maybe your presence will be enough to stop it, if the other children know that you are there, will more than likely meet their parents and certainly gain a relationship with the teacher.  I'm not suggesting to go into the classroom and take matters into your own hands, I am merely suggesting to be involved as much as possible.

Be sure to keep his self-esteem high, and let him know that it's nothing he has done, that children who act like this feel badly about themselves and take out their feelings on others.

Best wishes!

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EdieRaether
EdieRaether , Teacher writes:
Okay, having a laid back teacher should not bring consequences to your son's mental and physical well-being.  Too often teachers think of it as children's play and that is giving a bully permission to do so and it will only get worse.  Nip it in the bud.  If the teacher does not take action, I would go to the principal or the school counselor.  I personally would even call the child's parents in a very nice, friendly way and ask for a group session, perhaps at the school.  
I do training of teachers for these type things and would love to help. but in the meantime the child doing the bullying is acting out and someone needs to get to the bottom of his behavior as well.  He may be bullied at home and in that case you may not get cooperation from his parents.
I have several articles and am putting up videos on bullying that may help too.  Visit www.stopbullyingwithedie.com.  My book, Stop Bullying Now will be packed with tips on what you can do and is a great resource...watch for it.  
Let me know if you have other questions, but DO TAKE ACTION!!!  
This is not acceptable, whether the teacher recognizes it as a problem or not.
Take good care of that little one as no on should live in fear.
Edie

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