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suziq48
suziq48 asks:
Q:

My 5 yr old son knows right from wrong but chooses to do wrong, especially at day care.  Any suggestions?

He listens to what you ask/tell him to do,  but then goes and does the total opposite.  He's starting to tell lies, being disrespectful, and just doesn't listen.
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Feb 18, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

Thanks for taking the time to reach out for some help with your parenting question! It definitely sounds like your little boy's behavior has been upsetting and confusing for you, to say the least. Whenever a child knowingly does wrong it can be upsetting for a parent to see; you obviously want your son to behave appropriately and respectfully.

When your son engages in inappropriate behavior it is very important that you respond firmly and consistently with a negative consequence. When using discipline, try to follow this format:

1) Explain to your son which behavior was inappropriate and why he shouldn't have done it.
2) Give your son a consequence.
3) Talk with him about ways he should have acted instead (appropriate behaviors).
4) Practice this appropriate behavior with him.
5) Praise the practice.
6) Let him go on about his day.

It can be difficult to start using firm, consistent discipline if you haven't been already but it really is important. You can expect it to be met with some resistance at first, but if you make it clear to your son which behaviors he shouldn't be doing and what the consequences will be it really goes a long way towards making those expectations known and easier to follow. Remember, firm and consistent is key!

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Additional Answers (1)

ldelsol
ldelsol writes:
I am just at the tail-end of this experience.  I had to take EVERYTHING away....from Christmas present, including Birthday presents.  He can earn one thing back, my choice, when I hear or witness good (right) choices.  I don't use right or wrong....he associates wrong with not being right.  I need him to learn Good choices from Bad choices.  Bad decisions create bad consequences.  So each week we talk about his behavior and the decisions he made what he has earned back.  I remind him that the deal is if bad decision is made after earning an item back, HE HAS TO GIVE THE ITEM AWAY.  He can give it to the Salvation Army, or to someone at his Awana club or Sunday School.  This way the most valuable thing is still obtanible.  If that is this only item he ends up with, I feel it is a lesson WELL LEARNED!

At this age, it is the closest I can come to teaching how life really is.  He has to be accountable and responsible!  That is the kind of child I want to raise.
> 60 days ago

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