what should i do with my 6 year old daughter?

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mirani asks:

my daughter is the only child and she expects to be the focus of attention everywhere, she tries hard to be a winner, although we never imposed such thing, this causes her being clumsy most of the time for instance her knees are full of wounds and bruises just because she falls down a lot during running races with her friends. further more she's become obsessed with the ones who ignore her for the last 2 years,now we have just moved to another country and this has become even more noticeable. she goes to a language learning school and has a friend from our country that is a year or two older and doesn't take her very seriously, now what makes her day is the amount of attention she gets from her friend. we have always tried to make her more confident but it seems that we were not very successful. please give me some advice on what we should do.

In Topics: Motivation and achievement at school

> 60 days ago

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Expert

Louiseasl

Dec 29, 2011

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What the Expert Says:

Hello and thank you for writing to JustAsk!

It would appear that your daughter may be having some self esteem issues, which is resulting in her need to make friends with perhaps those who don't share common interests.

You may wish to try and get your daughter involved in activities that are suited to her skills, such as an area where she naturally excels. Then have her engage socially, if appropriate, with those who are involved in the same activity.

For example, if your daughter is interested in the performing arts, which many children who like to be in "spotlight" do, then perhaps enroll her in community theater or school acting groups. Try to place her with age peers so she can make friends of her own grade. It would appear that once she finds her niche then her self esteem should boost and she should be able to have an easier time making friends as they will share common interests.

Best wishes!

Louise Sattler
Psychologist

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