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Apgh
Apgh asks:
Q:

6 yr old daughter refuses to go to school everyday. Its a  painful ritual every morning.

My daughter is a bright 6 yr old. There are no serious behavior issues apart from refusing to go to school. She is ahead in math and reading skills (2 languages). She complains about school not being very interesting, but am not sure this is enough for all the tears in the morning. The current school is new, but the last 3 months at Montessori were similar. Though she enjoyed Montessori before and liked going to school everyday.
Is this anxiety related? Thanks.
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Jun 29, 2009
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What the Expert Says:

It's great that you are looking into reasons other than academics or being bored as to why your daughter doesn't want to go to school. You sound like a very caring mother.  Anxiety certainly is a possibility. Your daughter could also be having a hard time adjusting socially to her new school. Did you move to a new city, or just a new school? If you moved to a new city there is a lot of adjusting your daughter could be going through and it could just be surfacing at school.

Since your daughter also stated that school isn't very interesting she could be excelling in her school work and simply getting bored. It sounds like your daughter also came from Montessori classroom style, and sometimes in that type of educational environment kids are more likely to get lots of one-on-one attention. It sounds like your child is now in a traditional type of classroom. Maybe she is having trouble adjusting to the loss of this one-on-one attention. It may be a good idea to talk to her teacher to ask for effective techniques that work during the school day to help keep your daughter calm.

It's always a good idea to sit down and talk to your daughter about any feelings she may be having. Ask her if any of the above mentioned issues are causing her to not want to go to school. She may be hesitant at first to talk about it. If that's the case ask again later that day or the next day. If several attempts are ineffective, ask the school counselor to speak with her about what's going on. Sometimes kids are afraid to talk to their parents because they think they will get in trouble, but are more willing to talk to a different trusted adult. If she doesn't want to talk to the school counselor is it possible to have a trusted relative speak to her such as an aunt or grandmother?

Please feel free to call our toll-free hotline if you want to talk to one of our crisis counselors regarding your daughter.

Best Wishes,
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000

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