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Anonymous asks:
Q:

How do I help my 6 yr old get over a new fear?

I six year old daughter had a friend over at the start of summer.  Her friend broke the door handle to a room she and my daughter were in by accident.  They were locked in for about 30 seconds before we opened the door but now my daughter is terrified of closing any door at all no matter where we are.  What should I do to help my daughter over this?  Thanks
In Topics: My child's growth and development
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Louiseasl
Aug 30, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

So sorry to hear about your daughter's experience and new fear. The best way, in my opinion, to overcome this fear is to have her rehearse this difficulty with you in the room and another adult. Have her walk through the steps, talk through the strategies to resolve the situation and then practice these strategies.

You may need to do baby steps first. Such as locking a doll or a stuffed animal in the room. Also, show her alternate ways to get help, such as a window and how firefighters could help her if need be.

Hope this helps-

Louise Sattler, NCSP

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Additional Answers (5)

BrendaKayden
BrendaKayden writes:
My 4yr old has developed new fears and the best way I've found is to walk through it with him. Provide as much support as possible. I talked to him first, tried to pinpoint what exactly made him afraid and then I did it with him. Not right away but within the next couple of days.

Maybe after you figure out exactly what it is then close doors with her. Stay on her side of the door....talk her through it. Assure her that nothing will happen to her or you. It will take time.

Whatever you do don't shame her or make her feel like it's silly. Her fear is very real to her, regardless of how irrational it may be to us.

Good Luck!

~ B
> 60 days ago

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avidal
avidal writes:
I ACTUALLY HAD THIS EXACT THING HAPPEN TO MY DAUGHTER. I ACTUALLY HAD TO BUST THE DOOR OPEN. SHE WAS INSIDE ROOM SCREAMING.HONESTLY I COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHY IT WAS SO TRAMATIC for but it was. I WOULD EXPLAIN TO HER THAT IT IS UNLIKELY TO HAPPEN AGAIN.IF IT DOES SHE WILL BE SAFE IN HER HOUSE.JUST TELL HER TO CALL OUT TO YOU AND YOU WILL GET HER OUT AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN. TRUST ME SHE WILL GET OVER IT. Several years later we actully laugh about  how I had to bust that door open.I damaged the frame of the door.I panicked.It didnt help that she was screaming  so loud.
> 60 days ago

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ashtonr
ashtonr , Student writes:
well tell her it is ok nothing well happen and say what happend was in the past now it is time to move on ok and say you never know till you try it
> 60 days ago

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Sciencewhiz
Sciencewhiz writes:
Try closing the door of her room after she's already fallen asleep. When she wakes up in the morning she'll see that she was sleeping with the door closed and possibly get over it. Do it every night. Then start doing it during the day. When she's in her room close her door. Be sure to be with her in the room to show her it's ok.  After many times doing that try doing it without her, leave her in the room alone. If she's unable to do it then tell her you'll reward her with candy, or her favorite snack if she stays in the room alone for 30 seconds. Every time increase the amount she spends in there. Finally when the time comes out to be 1 minute treat her to ice cream. In the end when she can stay in her room for more than 5 minutes treat her to the thing she loves the most. That's all she needs, to be able to be in a room for more than 5 minutes with the door closed. Sooner or later she'll lose track of time and she'll be in a room for even more than 30 minutes. Just make sure to keep a watch or clock out of her sight. She can maybe read digital clocks. Hope I could help.
> 60 days ago

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helentamulonis
helentamulo... , Student writes:
Pout yourself in a room and close the door and show her it's not scaring
> 60 days ago

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