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liberty6201
liberty6201 asks:
Q:

My 6yo son's personality has changed drastically!!

My 6yo son used to be so kind, thoughtful, caring, etc, etc.  he still shows glimpses of this but more often than not these days he is rude, obnoxious, refuses to do as he is told, always answers back, has to have the last word.  He has even started being mean to his 2yo brother which has never happened before.  Also he has started lying (again never happened before) and being deceitful.  I have tried getting angry at him, punishing him, rewarding him for good behaviour, making sure we spend some quality time together as a reward, using sticker charts and i just don't know what to do.  I even felt like smacking him the other day which i just don't do.  He is so frustrating because i know he is a nice kid deep down but his behaviour is horrid and i am embarrassed by him these days.  Thing is it is not consistent.  Today for eg we had a ncie day, he was helpful, we went out for the afternoon then we got home, went to my mums for tea and he was so rude and deliberately obstructive that my mum has called me to ask if i think he is disturbed in some way.  I have tried talking to him but he just won't talk. About anything.  Please somebody help me out bc i don't know which way to turn next and i don't want him to feel like i don't like him anymore which is truly the message i am giving him at the moment when really i am trying to say i don't like his behaviour and it makes me sad.  he made me cry the other day and  he didn't even seem bothered by that.
In Topics: Self esteem and identity, Discipline and behavior challenges, Communicating with my child (The tough talks)
> 60 days ago

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Expert

LouiseSattler
Nov 1, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Hello and thank you for writing to JustAsk,

It would seem that anytime a child has a drastic change with behavior it would be reasonable to explore the cause or catalyst.  My suggestion would be a multi-prong approach.  First, you may wish to contact your son's school guidance counselor.  They may be able to see if he has been subjected to any bullying or school pressures which may result with this sudden and negative change.  Next, you may wish to discuss the sudden alteration with your child's pediatrician.  Any change that is sudden and drastic would be for me a reason to have a discussion with a doctor and also an physical examination.

 I wish you the best of luck and I hope that your family will find some peace and resolution soon.

Louise Sattler, NCSP
Nationally Certified School Psychologist


http://www.Kidlutions.com
http://www.MicheleBorba.com  (She has an excellent resource book for parents)

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lovemydaugther
lovemydaugt... writes:
I am not sure I have an answer for you, however I conpletely understand what you are going through. My son just turned 5 and for the last year I have wanted to pull my hair out. He is rude disrespectful, doesn't listen, hard to redirect and just downright aweful. When was the last time you heard of a 5 year old spending a good amount of time in the principals office. That's where my son spends his time, for being mean to other children, not doing what he is told, throwing tantrums in class, being rude to staff. I find myself watching Super Nanny alot and trying my best to follow through with her advice. I am also sad. "What happened to my loving baby boy." My son was very premature and socially not mature for his age. He is smart and funny but the bad behavior over shadows that a lot of the time. I have taken him recently to see a doctor and after debating long and hard, doing research talking with other parents I have put him on some medication. I didn't want to but, I wanted him to be able to reach his full potential in school and at home. I wanted my little boyt back. I am happy to say that 75% of the time he is much better behaved. I can't ask for better than that. He's 5, he is going to mis behave at some point. He is much happier, not being is trouble so much is good and he is focusing better on his school work, because he is not hanging out with the principal. Medication is not for everyone and it's a personal decision. I didn't want to be "That mom", but it's not about me, it's about my son and I think I did what was best for him at this time.  Good luck.
> 60 days ago

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