daddysmith asks:

my 7 year old daughter has a slightly unsettling type of tantrum .

It's born from the usual situation where she can't get her own way or wants something initially . She then tends to shut down and and tense up , won't communicate how she feels but kind of grunts and and pants while her eyes dart around the room , she also grabs her hands and clothes quite aggressively . I never let her have her own way in these situations but feel the need to try and calm her down as I find her behavior at these moments unsettling and don't want to leave her on her own . I'm a single dad and just wondering if anyone can shed any light . cheers
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges, Communicating with my child (The tough talks)
> 60 days ago



Boys Town National Hotline
Sep 5, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

Does she calm down when you attempt to descalate her?  Does she huirt herself or does it seem like she may hurt somebody else?  If you think this is in danger or is putting somebody else in danger when she is having these tantrums, than it may be good to get her to a counselor and get her evaluated.  Safety is always the first concern.  

Have you ever asked her how she feels when she experiences these episodes?  Is she aware of what she is doing?  Can she tell you about them afterwards?  It could be that she isn't able to verbalize her feelings and then just expressed herself in different ways.  By talking about these episodes, you may be able to give her a vocabulary that she can use to express herself.  

We are not sure what these epsiodes are, but if they worsen or become a problem with safety you will probably want to seek out a professional for assistance.  Be patient, remain calm, and stick to your guns.  It sounds like you are doing many right things in this situation.

Please take care and remember that you can call the Boys Town National Hotline 24 hours a day at the number below, free of charge.  We are here to help, you are not alone!

Counselor, NZ

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