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Anonymous asks:
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7 yr old, 2nd grader not progressing in several areas.

I'm at my wits end! My 7 years old, will be 8 in July. PRESCHOOL: She began having issues right away in preschool. The teachers had an awful time. She was constantly disruptive. The teachers and I strongly believed she was NOT ready for Kindergarten, however the  Board of Ed said because of her age, she had to go and didn't qualify to be held in K. We had her tested for ADHD or learning problems, results were not strong enough to say one way or the other.  
In grade K, she crawled under tables, talked during class and was always sent to the office. The teachers remedy was to put her at a desk in front by the teacher and let her color in her little pony coloring book! She wasn't learning ANYTHING this way, so we pulled her out and began homeschooling & accomplished a lot from Jan to May.
Last year, grade 1 we had problems with following directions, direct defiance (with the excuse I didn't hear you, the cat told her to do it) [yes hearing has been checked]. She made reading progress & some basic math, but we school all yr long.
This year: can't tell time, understand money denomination, the beginning of the year she couldn't remember what the "+" and "-" signs meant in math! She forgets whats she's learned from one day to the next, can not follow more than 1 set of instructions, often will not flush OR wipe! I did some research and found an article on Oppositional defiant disorder & she has ALL of the symptoms listed. Her dr says shes fine-needs to learn its not all about h
Member Added on Feb 28, 2010
Due to the limit of 1500 characters I was unable to include as many details as I would have liked, so I copied and re-edited and posted it to my blog here: http://lessons-on-the-farm.blogspot.com/2010/02/im-at-my-wits-end-heres-little.html  Also since my post I managed to locate my daughters evaluation forms from Preschool and another evaluation from The Klingburg Center (behavior/mental disorders). I called The Klingburg Center and they are going to see us again. I thought I would need her Doctors referral (the one who thinks its just an issue of "its all about me"), but I didn't because we were already in their system from our evaluation last year. So the ball is rolling.
In Topics: Helping my child with school work and home work
> 60 days ago

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Expert

BarbK
Feb 26, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

From what you have written, you have the right to be concerned.  I would try another doctor.  I would request a full range of blood test to see if there is some kind of imbalance.  The doctor can check for any other physical problems, too.

I would also contact the school to see what services they can provide and testing they can do.  Also, check with your health insurance to see if they cover any private testing for her mental well-being.

To help with some of the social behaviors, read books that have characters that have similar social problems.  For example, if you want her to learn how to listen, there is a book called Listen, Buddy by Helen Lester.  After reading the book, talk about how the main character Buddy learns to listen.  Then when your daughter doesn't listen, review the story.  Go to your public library and ask the media specialist for other suggestions.

Stay on top of this and don't be afraid to fight for your daughter.

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Additional Answers (4)

ChildSpeechLanguage
ChildSpeech... , Child Professional writes:
You might wish to consider consulting with a neurologist.   At this point, let’s be careful of labeling her as having oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).  Even though she may present symptoms consistent with ODD, she would really need to get that diagnosis from a licensed medical professional.  There may be a biological component you would need to rule out first.   Forgetting or regression could be red flags that may warrant a consultation with a neurologist.
> 60 days ago

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MaLJohnson
MaLJohnson , Parent writes:
U ARE DOING ALL THE STEPS MY BABY STARRED AT 7 YR OLD ALSO AND NOW SHE 10YR-OLD ITS GOING TO GET BETTER I HAVE A 6YR OLD DIDN'T THINK HE WAS READY FOR THE FIST GD HIS BEING GOING TO SCHOOL SINCE 3YR-OLD AND IT STILL DIDN'T WORK SO TOOK HIM TO GET EVALUATED AND YES HE HAS ADHD TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME IT GETS BETTER
> 60 days ago

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ehope
ehope writes:
I truly hope you are finding solutions. Might I offer an old fashioned one to add to your parenting tools.  My children are in grade school and I see many children "acting out". And I do have the luxury of volunteering at the school so I am there to observe children, and often their parents as well.

There are books written about this which my tired mom brain cannot recall at the moment, but our current generation has lost the knowledge of reward/punishment in raising our children.  And as any teacher will tell you, if you send them to school well behaved and respecting their teachers, they can teach. But it's not their job to mold our children's behavior.

I offer some basics, and a book I loved that gave some GREAT parenting tips called The Portable Pediatrician by Laura Walther Nathanson, MD.  It is both a medical guide and a behavior guide.

Reward your child for good behavior, punish for bad behavior. For example, if your child will not sit at the dinner table and eat, but runs around and you've said many times, "sit down and eat".  I offer sound old-fashioned hard love.  Tell your child that when you're finished eating your meal and your plate is clean, ALL the plates are going in the sink, including hers.  I did this ONCE and only once to my daughter and let me tell you, she was so hungry when she was about to go to bed she was so sad she'd missed dinner.  I didn't want to cave, so I pretended I was snacking on an apple and let her have a bite, and gently reminded her that the new rule is sit and eat because when I'm done with dinner all the plates go to the sink.

Once you do one BIG punishment like this they get the idea that you're the boss. If you've been lax in punishing then it will take a few times.

Another example, if she is not listening tell her that if she cannot do XYZ as you've asked you will put her favorite xyz (say stuffed animal) up for one day until she can learn to listen to your request to do xyz. Trust me there will be tears and anger whens she looses that animal for the day, and if you cave in here you've lost out.  If a day is too hard for you, then go for xxx amount of time.

Make it clear the behavior you want, make it clear the punishment, then FOLLOW through with the punishment.

I also reward, with a new book, or adding a "marble" to our marble jar so that when the jar is full she gets $$$ to purchase something, or she gets to pick what we're going to do one weekend day, etc.

If you build parameters for your child, reinforce what you expect regardless of her ourbursts, and reward when she's doing the expected behaviors...after a few months of this very hard work you will learn what is your child being out of line because she didn't respect your word, and what is truly beyond that.
 
I have two well behaved, happy, smart children. Two. Meaning I've applied my old-fashioned tactics to two very different personalities and it works. That, and lots of love, and lots of quiet time after school together.

I do hope you find that nothing is deeply wrong with your child. I see issues similar to what you described solved with some old fashioned attention to drawing the line. I pray that's all it is.

Blessings to you and yours.
> 60 days ago

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KbMiles
KbMiles writes:
Hey I read your story, a lot you wrote sounds like my son, have you found help yet, I would love to share with you my son's story, can you please contact me upscaledesignskb@yahoo.com
> 60 days ago

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