Hi there,

Thanks for using JustAsk!

It sounds like your son might be on the shy side, or he just may be uninterested in interacting with kids outside of school right now. Maybe he's just having too much fun with you! :)

Either way, I wouldn't worry too much, especially if he's social in school. If he has no problem interacting with peers during school hours, you can be reassured that he does possess social skills.

If you're concerned about his social skills, you could try scheduling a couple playdates yourself. Try asking a parent you know through school (or a parent of a child he often interacts with at school), if his or her son can come over one day after school to have a snack, do some homework, and play. Try keeping the playdates short at first, until you can determine if your son is having fun. If you're unsure of who connects well with, ask the teacher. He or she most likely has some insight.

For some more information, check out the article I'm including a link to, below. It has tips for parents who are raising a shy child -- which may or may not be the case for your son. However, I think it may include some helpful information for you!

Good luck!

Hi greatkids!  I think a great place to start would be talking to your son about this in an open and non-threatening way. I find it works really well to have these kinds of chats with my boys (6 & 8) in the car when no one's distracted.

You could just say something like "It seems like you have fun playing with kids at school - would you like to invite one of them over to our house some day so you could have more time to play together?"  If he says no - you could start to gently work out the reasons by asking him questions.  "Are you afraid he won't want to come to your house?", "Are you worried that he won't like your toys when he gets here?" "Are you afraid your other friends will have their feelings hurt if you only invite one friend over?"  "Do you feel too tired after school to play with a friend?"

It's hard to predict what's making your son feel afraid, embarrassed, worried, etc.  But once you know, you'll be able to start talking to him about how you can work together to make that issue better so that he feels more comfortable inviting someone over.  (For example, if he's afraid the friend won't like your house, you could arrange for a play date at a local playground).

You could also ask his teacher for recommendations of friends that might be an especially good match for your son.  It could be that he's "friendly" with lots of kids but hasn't yet made a real "friend" that he feels close enough to to invite over.


Hope this helps and good luck!

Kat