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DShepard
DShepard asks:
Q:

My 7yr old son is having trouble controlling his temper and hitting at school.

My 7yr old 1st grade son, is excelling in school, he often is moved away from other kids in the classroom because is talking or distracting.
Their is one other child he really wants to be friends with. This particular child has a very "attractive" personality; Everyone wants to be his friend.
This "attractive" child's parents feel that my child is too physical and have asked that my child be kept away from him. Because these two boys did play together closely, there have been episodes of injury such as scratches and hitting.
Some of the conflict comes when he tries to play on the playground and he doesn't get positive attention from this child, or he gets negative response from other children who are trying to keep him away from the "attractive child".
Now my son has moved on to try to establish new friendships, and seems to be achieving this.
He has still had episodes once or twice weekly at school or daycare when he has hit other kids. The most recent involved him hitting an older child because that child would not give a necklace to another child.
One other circumstance involved the child calling him a name after my son made a goal on the playground.
We have grounded him (no friends, no screen time, etc) and we have taken away personal property (video games) and limited his attaining things he wants (a pet fish).
We have discussed the "hands to yourself" rule and the "just walk away" rule.
We are loving parents, he is an only child
Any help would be appreciated
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Dr.Monika
Feb 20, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

As you already noticed, children hit for different reasons, anger, frustration, disappointment, or defense. Lately, it seams that you child hits to defend himself or others.  Although it is noble of him to stand up for himself and others, he must understand that hitting is not the way to accomplish that.
To harness his energy and the urge to hit, sign him up for martial arts, where he will develop restraint and self control.  Otherwise, show him a lot of love and attention for all the good ways that he uses to deal with everyday frustration.

Best regards.
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Additional Answers (1)

Louiseasl
Louiseasl , Child Professional writes:
Hello and thank you for writing to JustAsk!

I think you may find these resources helpful...

Kidlutions is a website which offers parents real strategies and assistance for children with tough behavioral situations.  http://www.kidlutions.com

Michele Borba is a parenting expert and has written the BIG BOOK of PARENTING SOLUTIONS.. http://www.Micheleborba.com

Good luck!

Louise Sattler, NCSP
Nationally Certified School Psychologist
> 60 days ago

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