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Africanmom
Africanmom asks:
Q:

My 8 year old daughter keeps stealing!!!

Earlier this year I was horrified to learn that my daughter took something from her best friend.  The situation was handled in the following matter:  1)She had to return the stolen item 2)She had to apologise in person to her friend 3)She was made well aware of the consequences of stealing 4)I tried to understand why she stole in the first place. I thought we sorted out the problem, because she clearly understood why stealing was wrong and shown remose for what she did.  Yesterday my friend dropped a bomb on me telling me that there was another incident at school as she stole some collectors cards from a classmate and gave it to her best friend.  The classmates confronted her and she denied taking anything!!!  She also did not mention anything to me!!!  She has everything a little girl could ask for, so I really do not understand why she keeps stealing.  We have a loving home, financially we are very blessed and she is popular at school.  She had some emotional adjustment problems in grade 1, but she's finished grade 2 with a distinction in maths (she was very proud).  I must mention that her brother performs well in school without much effort, but she has to work very hard, and she had homework classes in the afternoon this year and she admitted that the classes was not a waste of time because of her distinction. She was also bullied by a grade 5 girl, but this we have sorted out with the school.  Please help! She's a typical right brain child.
In Topics: Self esteem and identity, Bullying and teasing, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Hand in Hand
Dec 15, 2009
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What the Expert Says:

I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with this challenging behavior. I hope a recent teleseminar our Founder recorded on "Lying, Cheating and Stealing," will give you some helpful support.

Juli Idleman
Hand in Hand Program Director
www.handinhandparenting.org
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Additional Answers (6)

Peachbottom
Peachbottom writes:
She probably has problems at school and tries to fit in alot so that may be a reason. Take away all privileges for about 3 weeks or more depending on how bad the stealing has gotten. You must try your best to stop the stealing while she is younger because if it continues it can become much bigger and worse, so i advice you to stop it while you can.
> 60 days ago

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Relle
Relle , Student writes:
I think the best thing to do is take away everything your child loves for about 2 weeks. Then sit her down and discuss why you did what you did and why they shouldnt do it again because next time the consquence will be worst.And then see if they still are stealing from you.
> 60 days ago

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worriedMUM
worriedMUM writes:
I would probably try a different method this time. I think that punishing her wont fix the problem and the best thing u can do is maybe go down to her level and have a little play date with her where u can say each other secrets.... through play try to find a reason why she is doing what she's doing. Maybe she wants more of your attention. I did it once as a child(i think i was about the same age as her) and it was because i wanted my moms attention and i knew that doing something really bad would get me that.Hope u find the best solution soon.
> 60 days ago

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dgraab
dgraab , Parent writes:
Hi, Here are some related resources on Education.com that you may find helpful to resolving this situation...

The Lowdown on Lying, Stealing, and Cheating
http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Lowdown_Lying/

My Child Is Stealing
http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_My_Child_Stealing/

When Children Lie and Steal
http://www.education.com/reference/article/when-children-lie-steal/

Other similar JustAsk questions about children stealing -- many with Expert answers
http://www.education.com/answers/search/?searchTerms=stealing

Other resources for your child's grade, age and situation...

The Parent's Guide to Third Grade
http://www.education.com/grade/third-grade/

Middle Years (age 5-9)
http://www.education.com/age/middle-years/

Bullying Information Center
http://www.education.com/topic/school-bullying-teasing/

Positive Discipline
http://www.education.com/topic/positive-discipline/
> 60 days ago

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lilwayne
lilwayne writes:
to spot this u need to lock her in her room and force her to tell u everything she has stole cause im pretty sure that is not the onlything she has stolen and tell were it is and were its from and ground her
> 60 days ago

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Jackolynn
Jackolynn writes:
Kids are going to be kids, but stealing is way wrong and if it has started already chances are its gonna keep going. I would have a police officer talk to her about it. They always leave a good inpact on a kid because they are "cool" grown-ups.
> 60 days ago

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