otep12 asks:

Right to know name

My pre-schooler was hit in the nose with a lego brick by another child which caused a circular gash that keeps on bleeding. I asked the school who hit my child and they wouldn't tell me. Do I have a right to know the name of the other child? I live in New Jersey.
In Topics: Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago



Lonnie K. Chin
Sep 17, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

Hello Otep12!
       I'm sorry to hear that your child got hurt. Hopefully the bleeding  has stopped, and that there is no lasting injury.  The school may have been reluctant to tell you the name of the child who threw the Lego which injured your child because they're not sure about what you intend to do.  Why do you want the name of the other child?
Schools are required to see that all students are protected.

     It might be more productive to ask the school what happened and how they plan to take care of the problem.  What are they going to do to make sure that your child is safe?  Was the incident an accident or was the perpetrator an aggressor who might be bullying?  How do they make sure that all children are getting along and playing safely?  Do they have a policy to prevent bullying?   Does the staff take time to teach ongoing lessons on cooperation, socializing, playing safely, and treating others with respect?  

      I would definitely make sure that your child and the other child meet in a guided problem solving conversation to discuss ways to play safely, and give the Lego thrower a chance to apologize.  Children need to learn to confront and solve interpersonal problems in a safe environment guided by a supportive adult.  Children can develop self confidence and empathy as early as preschool.  Children are very adaptable and fast learners when adults help them to think through kid sized issues.    Keep on learning!

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