lilimommy asks:

What should I do next?

My 8 yr old son was recently removed from an excellent school system that we had no problems with until this year.  I was very involved at the school with volunteering so I happened to notice many things weekly, sometimes daily.
1st incident:My son was being bullied by another student.  I asked that my son not have any contact with the bully while at school including recess, lunch table, line up, etc.  After a very warm PE class, my son was fanning his face and the bully (yes, he was in line right by my son) made a comment about my son "looking" like a girl.  My son went to the teacher immediately (which both parents and teacher agreed upon) and reported the comment.  The teacher's response was, " Well he's just trying to teach you to be a normal boy."  My son gets in the car after school and proceeds to fall apart while asking me if I think he is normal.  2nd incident:Above teacher decided that certain students were taking too many bathroom breaks so she devised a new bathroom policy:  One classroom bathroom break (usually in the am.) and two bathroom passes for the rest of the day.  If you used all your bathroom passes, then you were out of luck until you got home. 3rd incident:Above teacher sends a frustrated and crying child to another more aggressive teacher to be disciplined.
I met with the principal on two occasions with above concerns and was told that ALL children in this age group lie and then labeled my son as a "mama's boy".  There is more to this story. What no
In Topics: Working with my child's teacher(s), Working with school administrators
> 60 days ago



Mar 14, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

I am sorry to hear that your son is going through this.  However, I am glad that he has you to confide in and that you are there to help him through this difficult situation.

From what you have told us, it sounds like you are taking the correct steps: meeting with and agreeing upon a plan with the classroom teacher as well as making contact with the principal.  I would continue to meet with the classroom teacher on a regular bases - maybe ever two weeks to see what progress is being made.  I would also ask her for suggestions on how she would handle the situation if the roles were reversed.

If you haven't already started one, keep a notebook of all the incidences.  Record just the facts and try to keep emotion out of it (which is very hard).  This could come into play latter on if things don't improve.  Record the good, bad and ugly.  If you show a balance, then they are more likely to work with you.

Talk to other parents to see if they are having the same problem with this teacher.  Find out how they are handling the situation.  Also ask them how their child sees your son.  Maybe their insight could give you valuable information that you haven't noticed before.

The end of the school year is right around the corner.  So chances are they won't move your child form this classroom.  However, I would find out how makes up the class lists for the up coming school year and set up a meeting with that person.  Explain the situation and ask that they take this into consideration when placing your son next year.  You most likely will not be able to request a teacher, but if you bring it to their attention and are rational, they usually keep that in mind.

Hope I've given you a few ideas to think about.  And please continue to be there for your son - he needs you.

Barb K

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Additional Answers (1)

lilimommy writes:
We are thinking the same thoughts on this one.  Most of the incidents happened before Christmas break.  January and February were beyond horrible.  I removed him from the school after the principal became quite condescending at the last meeting and labeled my child yet again.  He is being homeschooled by me following the same curriculum used at the school.  In the span of 3 days, 2 other parents have come forward complaining of their child's treatment by this same teacher.  She clearly does not want to be teaching.  The principal brushed those parents off as well.  But being near the end of the school year, no doubt that they won't do anything at this point.  The hardest thing to hear is how the other kids continue to be treated.  It's sad when a teacher dislikes what she's doing and the kids are the ones to suffer.  I have now taken my complaints to the superintendent and then if not handled,  I will take them to the board of education.  Not just because of the teacher (I doubt she will be there next year) but the way the principal handles an issue.  I have everything documented and an actual recording of the last meeting with him where he clearly states the words, "mama's boy".  In the past year, our family has lived through a damaging tornado (my son and I were in the hallway as trees crashed on either side of us less than 10 feet away) and had to move 4 times in 3 months while our house was being repaired.  I lost my grandmother last June, was an active member on the PTO board where I chaired TWO committees until this past January.  We moved back into our home and the following morning I had to have emergency surgery followed by another surgery at the end of January 2012.  My child may need his mother and may seem a little anxious at times...but I think my family is entitled to a little anxiety at this point.  I think some sensitivity throughout the past school year was warranted.  Thanks for responding to my question!
> 60 days ago

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